


And I hope you have all you've dreamed of

by Kairin16



Category: Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bodyguard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 09:38:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairin16/pseuds/Kairin16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world Steve wakes up to from ice has no need for Captain America anymore. Looking for his place in the new world, Steve gets hired as a bodyguard to the heir to Stark Industries, seventeen years old Tony Stark. Turns out it was both the worst and the best thing that could happen to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I hope you have all you've dreamed of

**Author's Note:**

> The title taken from the lovely "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston that appeared in the iconic movie "Bodyguard". Because I'm more of a sap than I thought.
> 
> Great thank you to Katsumi, my artist for her hard work and the pieces she's drawn to accompany this story.

Another crash shook the street as one of the masked criminals threw an overturned taxi in the direction of the running civilians. Crowd control was nearly impossible with that level of panic and the police were more worried about the casualties with every second. Several cars were lit on fire and there were screams coming from the rubble that once was a store; indicating that people were trapped inside. Nothing could be done, however, until the main threat to the area was neutralized. It was unfortunate that said threat was an eight foot tall lizard man and refused to go down no matter what the officers threw at him. The lizard man’s smaller partner kept setting fire to everything in his sight which didn’t help. People were panicking and trying to huddle behind anything they could find due to the lack of escape routes. They managed to lead most of the crowd away at the beginning of the fight, but the roads were soon blocked too much for it to be safe.

  
The smart decision, of course, would be to wait until the super powered heroes arrived on the scene, but in the face of danger to their community the New York Police weren’t going to stand down so easily. The department had already lost people in this skirmish. Not to mention that with the lack of impact the bullets had on the lizard, many men were panicking; so leaving civilians unprotected and the streets open to destruction was out of question.

Steve fired yet another round in the direction of the smaller thug and managed to shoot the man in the thigh. The villain went down to his knees with a yelp, but before any of the officers could do anything else, the lizard man roared in rage and grew another two feet. Andrew, Steve’s partner, cursed under his breath and Steve could only nod in agreement. They were in an even worse situation than at the start and if anger only made the monster grow there might not be a way out of it. Where were these masked vigilantes when you did need them? Steve wasn’t a fan of these people who pretended that putting on colourful spandex and having inhuman powers made them heroes. In his time it took much more than that, but people were more than ready to eat up that kind of a farce. Even crowd control became easier with a few capes on the scene, although there were always gawkers who seemed to think that recording the crime scene with their phones was more important than their personal safety. Steve always made sure to be very vocal about what he thought of that.

Two more taxis went flying simultaneously in the direction of the densest crowd. Only luck kept them from crashing before they reached anyone. A child started crying, huddled with his mother behind the pillar of a bank, the woman valiantly trying to calm it down in the face of danger. The lizard turned to face their direction and it felt as if everyone held their breaths. Captain Evans gave a signal to do something and both Steve and Andrew ducked from behind the car they were using as cover, opening fire at the monster. They were overpowered, but they had a responsibility to keep civilians safe no matter what. Steve himself was more than willing to lay his life on the line, but he hoped it wouldn’t come to that. If he went down, then chances were good Andrew would follow him and it was just last Sunday that they attended the baptism of Andrew’s youngest daughter.

The lizard shrugged off the bullets as if they were nothing more than rain and proceeded in the direction of the mother. Steve pulled Andrew down as he saw Sam throwing a grenade at the monster’s head, the blast just barely scraped the top off their car. It didn’t do much damage, but it had the expected effect of diverting the villain’s attention from innocent people. It roared again, turning in place in search of the culprit of his injury. From the corner of his eye Steve could see the second thug getting up and ready for another wave of fire.

The capes better be here soon, Steve thought as he shot a bullet straight through the man’s head. The body in garish orange latex crumpled to the ground and for a moment there was silence.

“I don’t know if that was a very good or a very bad decision.” Andrew murmured to him, wide-eyed, just before the lizard threw his head back and with another toe curling scream started growing again. “I changed my mind, that was a really piss poor decision.” Steve’s partner said, his hands shaking.

The city would be left in shambles again, with the way the monster kept crushing walls around him. Steve hated the fact that the moment New York recovered from one superhuman attack there was another one to worry about. Non-powered thieves and thugs were much too rare nowadays with how the black market kept churning out drugs and toys that gave common criminals a super edge over the police. Steve wasn’t sure when having some sort of power went viral, but it was more disastrous for the city with every attack. The so-called heroes didn’t help, often creating as much damage as the villains.

An enormous green tail fell on their car, forcing both Steve and Andrew to jump to the sides. The explosion rocked the nearest windows and blinded Steve long enough that he almost didn’t see the lizard hand coming at him. He ducked and fired a round, making sure with his peripheral vision that Andrew was safe. His partner was crouched behind some rubble together with Captain Evans and Tom, waiting until the monster turned in their direction before firing. It still didn’t do anything to hurt the lizard, only annoyed him further, but as long as they kept firing from different directions they could distract the monster away from doing any substantial harm. Hopefully the capes would be there soon.

They were glad enough with that strategy up until the lizard decided that he had enough. He swung at the nearest officers with his clawed hand, pinning Jeremey to the sidewalk. With horror Steve realized that one of the sharp nails was stabbed through Jeremy’s side, possibly puncturing something vital to the boy’s life. Jeremy married last March, his wife was a small red-head named Elsa who kept bringing the best brownies Steve ever had to the department picnics.

Steve shook himself out and reached for the grenade at his belt. Each one of them had only one, but if this wasn’t warranting its use, Steve didn’t know what would. The explosion did nothing to the monster, but as Steve wanted to it gained more attention than bullets, making the lizard turn his way. Jeremy moaned with pain and relief when the claw went out of his flesh, Robert and Chris pulled him behind their car as stealthily and quickly as they could. They would try to stem the bleeding, but all of them knew that without the ambulance there was not much they could actually do. Where the fuck were the heroes?

Meanwhile, the monster roared straight into Steve’s direction, creating a wind current strong enough that it shook the man for a moment. Steve was able to duck under the swinging hand at the last minute, but the tail that followed caught him straight in the chest, sending him flying into a nearby car. He hit the metal hard, the window breaking with a crash under his weight. Steve groaned in pain, feeling some of his ribs shifting in his chest. He just started to push himself upright when a giant hand slammed into him, pushing him down harder into the car underneath him. It gave out, the wheels breaking with a loud whine and the whole frame crushing. Steve could feel his collarbone snap and he yelled in pain, trying to push at the hand pinning him.

A bright red beam got the beast right in the middle of the chest and the monster stumbled back with a roar of rage, releasing Steve in the process. It was high time the capes arrived. Tom and Andrew ran to his aid, trying to move him from the wreck without hurting him further. They chattered rapidly, trying to keep him conscious and from their disjointed words Steve could just discern that the X-Men had arrived at the scene. Hopefully they would soon contain the monster and the rest of the department could work on getting people from behind the buildings and to the hospital.

The one called Wolverine slashed down the lizard’s back with his claws, creating six deep gashes that started to bleed rapidly. Steve winced at the thought of the city cleaners that would have to get that out of the street. The guys helped him limp slowly to the safety of cover and he sat down against the wall with another groan. He would heal faster than a normal person would, but sustaining injuries still wasn’t any fun.  
Tom tried to tie Steve’s chest with stripes from his jacket, to at least immobilize the ribs that were dutifully shifting every time he took a breath, sending a steady stream of agony that threatened to send him into unconsciousness. He could see one of the super-heroes, the one they called Doctor McCoy, crouching near Jeremy at the other side of the street and administering a little more thorough first aid than Robert and Chris could. The battle wasn’t over yet, but they needed the ambulance as soon as possible, several of them in fact, and for that the street had to be cleared enough for a car to drive through. It would be at least another hour and Steve hoped with everything he could that Jeremy would hold on for that long.

Finally, the monster fell, shrinking even as he was tipping backwards after being electrocuted by lightning the white haired woman had summoned. Who was left was a scrawny man, no older than thirty and Steve would almost feel bad for a guy if it wasn’t for all the lives him and his flame throwing partner took that day. Some people started crying from relief and anyone who could went to help with the rubble on the street.  
The moment the road was cleared enough the sirens of ambulances were heard and several of the vehicles crowded the area. Injured civilians were being pulled from the buildings and cars, blankets given to the ones who were only in shock. Jeremy was packed into one of the cars that took off fast. The officers who knew the boy visibly sighed in relief. Steve was lying on the stretcher before another ambulance, reassuring the young medic that he could lay there for a while until other people were treated. He wasn’t bleeding or seriously hurt, broken bones could wait for a little bit more.

Just as soon as the crowd lessened and the only thing left was clean up, the media arrived like vultures sensing blood. The heroes were happy to pose and talk about how they saved the day and the city once again, not one of them mentioning the long hours the NYPD spent alone on the scene, containing the damage as much as they could. That was one of the reasons why Steve felt so bitter about those vigilantes. Real heroes weren’t supposed to boast and forget about small people. Real heroes were the ones who went against the enemy like the lizard monster without knowing they would go out unharmed. Steve was working with real heroes, and these posturing clowns were nothing more than people who thought they could use their gifts to make people adore them.

An oxygen mask was being placed over his lips even before he realized his breath was coming short and erratic. The buildings surrounding the attack area were all demolished and there were more injured and dead than Steve hoped for. Maybe shooting at that rage monster wasn’t one of his best ideas after all.

~*~

The shouting from the commissioner’s office was loud enough that it turned the heads of the civilians coming to report something at the reception. Most of the officers currently in the building scurried to their own desks, sitting curled quietly so as to not gain any of the negative attention the mayor was currently bestowing upon their boss. The last battle with two villains was more disastrous than any other before. No one expected it and now there was trouble all around. Buildings had to be fixed and in some cases entirely rebuilt and until they were all the people that lived there had to be put somewhere and it was the city’s responsibility to figure out where. Not to mention all the hospitals, filled to brimming with the injured and dying.

There were enough of their own forces in hospital beds that no one felt guilty over the whole thing. They did what was their responsibility to do to the best of their abilities; nothing that happened was their fault. The squadron fought two armed and mutated psychopaths that didn’t care about casualties to civilians or the city’s structure. As none of them had powers that could rival that of a growing rage lizard, they were justified in thinking that the blame that was being placed on them was unfair. Their whole department was under the agreement that if anyone was to blame it was the superheroes that failed to answer the distress call in a timely fashion. They were the only people who had any chance of fighting monsters like that lizard head on and they were too busy to come and help.

Personally, Steve knew better heroes that were lacking any sort of flashy powers than this group in spandex that insisted that they saved the day. No one would put the blame on the X-Men though. Xavier had too many friends on the political scene of New York. Besides, if someone ever tried to say a bad word about the group there would be an outrage between mutant-friendly groups in the city, who thought that even the slightest frown in the direction of post-humans was grounds for an anti-racist protest. It was, quite frankly, more than a little tiring.

When the call into the office came, Steve wasn’t exactly surprised, but it can’t be said that he was in any way glad either. He knew what was waiting for him behind those doors and it was nothing pleasant. Blame had to be placed somewhere and the whole department couldn’t afford to be crippled like that. So they would choose a scape goat who would be punished and the public would be happy while their forces didn’t suffer too much. Who better for the role of a dummy than the very policeman who with his actions escalated the attack from disastrous to more disastrous? It didn’t matter that the monster would grow sooner or later anyway or that if he didn’t shoot when he did, the results would be even worse. No one would think about that.

The mayor was standing behind the commissioner’s desk, his hands clasped behind his back and his mouth pressed into a tight line. This was a man who faced the bill of damages from meta-human attacks way too often and had to shoulder the public’s disgruntlement day after day. Steve liked him. For a man who had more enemies in the city than friends and whose public opinion was going lower every time someone new attacked the streets, he knew how to keep his calm and just do his job. These were a few of the qualities Steve could respect in any man, but especially in someone who chose to do it instead of surrendering like his predecessor did. Mayor Idris was a strong man and he and Commissioner Dugan were friends even before the elections, but when the public cried for blood, he was powerless to shield the NYPD.

To his surprise however, Steve found on the desk in the centre of the room a video call with Nick open. The old scoundrel was chewing on his cigar as if it personally offended him. Steve knew the man’s expression from back at war and even then it didn’t mean anything good. Maybe the situation was more dire than he thought it was. The mayor started to list the damage to the city the attack had brought and Steve couldn’t help but wince at the amount of money it would take to repair it all. It would come from the tax payers’ pockets and they wouldn’t be happy about it. It explained the heavy atmosphere in the room in part at least.

All three men agreed, just like Steve predicted, that they would need someone to take the blame to appease the public enraged by their loss. It didn’t come as a surprise when they told him it would be him. Enough civilians had seen him shooting at the scene and causing the monster to grow way more than their forces could even begin to contain. Steve also understood that out of the people who took part in the action he was the only one who didn’t have any family that could be possibly endangered. He was okay with it, more than okay in fact. He had grown close to the people from his department, even creating tentative friendships with a few of the fellow officers. He would take the blame if it would protect them somehow.

That is, he was okay with it all, until the point when Dugan actually told him what his punishment would entail. Steve thought that at worst he would be suspended from work, forced to mope around his apartment until the public calmed down enough that he was able to come back to the department. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Now he understood why Nick was looking so stormy, it was hard enough to find Steve anything to do in this new world and now he was losing it.

For a long moment he just stared incomprehensibly at the empty box Dugan gave him. It was just waiting to be filled with the meagre number of things he’d accumulated in his work desk. He expected to not be able to come back to the office for some time, but to be fired? No. He didn’t see that coming at all. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do now. This job was the only thing that gave his life in this time any sort of purpose, if he wasn’t helping people than what would he do? Dugan gave him a sympathetic smile and explained in detail why such a harsh decision and Steve understood. He didn’t want to, but he understood. There was little the mayor or Dugan could have done when the enmity on the streets were that high and firing the policeman “responsible” for so much destruction would go a long way to soothe the public.

It didn’t mean that Steve had to like it. It was enough of a blow to his ego that without Nick he wouldn’t be able to find any work when he woke up. And now he was going to have to ask for help again and he wasn’t sure his pride would take it. He was self-sufficient ever since he could remember and to be at the mercy of someone else, even if they’re a friend, it was enough to stir that little spark of anger that was always smarting inside his chest into a bright flame. His hands tightened on the box’s handles. He took a few slow breaths, remembering vaguely to be careful about his still bruised ribs and nodded shortly at all three men. His stride when he was leaving the office was even and his back held straight. He wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him at anything less than his best.

There were worse situations he’d gotten out of over the years and he wouldn’t be defeated by unemployment. Steve didn’t need Nick’s or anyone else’s help to take care of himself. He was an adult and he had his honour. It wasn’t like at the beginning when everything around him was new and scary, he already knew this world. He would find a new job on his own, even though it would probably be hard with the way he was leaving the department.

Steve almost believed his own optimism as he packed his mug with a cartoonish Captain America on the side into the box filled with everything that connected him to this place where he’d started to feel at home. After all, how hard could it be for him to find a job? He had a cap on his temper problems now and he was highly trained in all kinds of martial arts and the use of guns. The fact that he couldn’t think off the top of his head where else that knowledge would be useful outside of the police force didn’t have mean anything.

Andrew was the one who finally put Steve’s cap on top of his things in the box when Steve was busy contemplating the rest of his life. Only now did Steve notice that almost the entire department was crowded around his desk and none of the people looked in any way pleased about him leaving. He pulled his partner into a quick hug and tried to smile, but from Andrew’s expression it didn’t work out all that well. It wouldn’t be bad, Steve realized. He might have lost his job, and the long period of unemployment loomed over him, but this time he wasn’t alone. Somehow during the months he spent working in NYPD he gained some good friends. The thought of the empty days filled only with memories dissipating. Steve took a breath and thought that yeah, everything would be alright.

~*~

What Steve discovered during the next few weeks, filled with visits to the local employment centers, was that the economic system in America hadn’t changed from his time at all. It was still shot to hell and there was no one willing to fix it properly. Not willing to take on a job in retail or a fast food restaurant, a man like him was faced with no options, stuck in a loop of needing experience in the given field to be considered for the position, but not being able to get any without being hired first. It made his blood boil, the thought that not only him, but thousands of other people struggling to live their lives day by day were caught in this trap, pushed into the margins of minimum wage work that wasn’t paying enough to live on.

One rainy evening, Steve was getting back from the center, one measly job advertisement that he might be qualified for crinkling inside his pocket. It was a night guard position at the local shopping center and while it wasn’t anything fancy, it would pay his bills and he would know he got it himself, without anyone’s help.

A group of young people caught his attention just when he was going to cross the street. They were standing at the door of a night club, the music deafening. All of the young adults were visibly drunk, and either it meant they were at it for a while now or drank too fast. Most of them looked to be in their mid-twenties, but the figure leaning on the wall couldn’t be even eighteen yet. The kid was being pushed into the plaster by one of the larger men and from what Steve could see, trying to get away at least a little, not interested in what the bigger man was offering. Either he was insisting very weakly, or the man was one of those that couldn’t accept no as an answer.

Not thinking much about what he was going to do, Steve jogged the opposite way he was going and slid close to the group. No one but one young woman seemed to notice him, but she seemed to be too out of her mind to protest his presence. It was pretty clear that alcohol wasn’t the only thing in her system, but Steve wasn’t a police officer anymore and he wasn’t going to interfere with that. It wasn’t his responsibility to save every lost soul in New York. He would have to put his whole life behind the effort and still, he would fail.

“Excuse me, but I think my friend doesn’t want to talk with you.” Steve said firmly, placing his hand on the drunken man’s shoulder and pulling him away from the kid. There was a very real possibility that he would have to fight the man, judging by the thunderous expression his face slipped into, but before anyone could say another word, the kid himself slid under the arm pinning him and stepped slightly behind Steve.

“Yeah, Ty, we’ll talk later or whatever.” He said, voice slurring a little and eyes unfocused. Steve gritted his teeth against a swear word, recognizing the same absent look from the nearby girl. Either they were all doing drugs, or someone was slipping shit into drinks in that club. He’d have to make a call to Andrew when he got home, maybe they could afford to send someone and investigate a little. “I’m sure Mark is more than capable to take me home.” The kid added with a glance at Steve.

“I am.” Steve said, playing along and slipping his arm around the kid’s shoulders to support his weight and smiling pleasantly at ‘Ty’. “I’m sure he’ll call you or something.” He couldn’t help but add while he pulled the unprotesting boy away from the club. He got only a hum in response before the weight on his arm became much heavier as the kid lost consciousness. It seems Steve got there just in time then.

After a quick search of the boy’s belongings he finally found a driver’s license and shifting the dead weight in his arms to a fireman’s carry he hailed a cab. The address was in Upper Manhattan and it wouldn’t cost him lightly to get there from Brooklyn, but he’d much rather eat canned soup for a week than let the boy be used just because he was stupid enough to hang out with wrong people. He seemed tired beyond being drunk and drugged, the shadows under the coloured lines on his eyes prominent enough that they couldn’t be hidden by make-up. Steve wondered if they were a result of a partying life-style or something else. Either way, the sight of the boy curled slightly into himself while looking so exhausted was stirring the protective instincts inside of Steve that he forgot he had.

The car journey was rather quick for New York, mostly because of the late hour. It was also, as Steve predicted, rather expensive. He paid the driver with a sigh and pulled the boy out, shifting him into comfortable position to carry. Steve would just walk home then, it’s not like it would tire him too much. It would take some time though and he could probably forget about going somewhere the next day.

The address took them to a mansion, bigger than any Steve had seen previously, including the one the Commandos spent a few nights at in France when the Resistance asked for their help. The gate beeped open as soon as he walked near, startling him enough to almost drop his sleepy passenger. There was a butler waiting at the main door. Steve couldn’t find his feet in this place and he wondered a little panicky in what kind of trouble did he get himself into this time, trying to be noble. Maybe he should stop doing that.

“Would you mind horribly carrying Young Master to his sleeping quarters, sir?” The butler asked as soon as Steve was close. “I’m afraid I will not be able to do it myself and the rest of the staff is already in bed.”

Steve nodded and licked his lips before answering, “Of course, that’s not a problem.” Walking behind the man and trying not to look around and gape at the lavish corridors, he blurted out “Does that happen often? It can’t be safe for someone so young to hang out alone with people who aren’t against drugging him.” Steve really tried, but some judgment must have slipped into his tone as the butler turned and raised the eyebrow at him, successfully making Steve blush with embarrassment. “Sorry, it’s not my business.”

“Not quite.” The older man agreed, opening one of the doors and gesturing Steve inside. “But it is not as straightforward as you might see it, sir. The young Master has had several bodyguards across the last few months, but they all ultimately quit after short periods of time.” Steve was definitely not touching that one with a ten foot pole. But he took out one of his last business cards and passed it to the elderly man.

“If he gets in a big trouble, please call me. I might be able to help.” He said, the police logo on the card still making his chest ache a little. “I might not be actively on the force anymore, but I’ve got friends. And make sure he’s got lots of water when he wakes up, he has some drugs in his system.”

“Thank you, Mr. Rogers.” The butler answered in a pleasantly surprised voice, glancing at his card and slipping it into one of his numerous pockets. “I will keep what you told me in mind.” With that, Steve was quickly escorted to the door, but he could tell there was something nicer about the air around the elder man then.

Walking back to Brooklyn and praying that it wouldn’t rain again, he put the incident out of his mind. He’d found trouble again, but fortunately without any long-term consequences this time. At least he thought so, until he received a call few days later from one Edwin Jarvis.

~*~

The foyer was enormous, big enough to fit Steve’s little apartment and then one or two more, not to mention all the decorations around him that looked expensive and delicate. Steve was sure that the mirror hanging on his right cost more than he used to earn in a year. He tried to stop himself from moving, but the paintings on the walls were almost surely originals and he had really few occasions lately to indulge that particular passion of his. Still, the house was putting him on edge, with the rich interior and its old feel. There was an actual crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a double staircase at the end of the room, like in the old movies. Last time he wasn’t looking around and the lights had been turned off anyway, so he didn’t notice most of it, but now, left to his devices for way too long, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of people were comfortable with living in such space. In theory, he knew, he was aware of who the occupants were and he could blearily remember the father of the current head of the house. Howard Stark Sr. was an inventor during Steve’s time, the company that was now an international power house had just been gaining its traction.

It would be his luck that he managed to get involved with the richest family in New York, if not the whole of America. Andrew used to joke about the family at the precinct, every time some scandal surfaced. “President invites Stark to Sunday brunch, but the Starks think he’s too plebeian for them.” Steve’s partner used to say and now the words were ringing in Steve’s ears, making him more nervous than he otherwise would be. The job they offered him sounded easy and simple enough, but if Jarvis was to be believed, it was everything but. If being young Stark’s bodyguard was easy, he wouldn’t go through so many professionals in so little time. Steve was stubborn though and they did offer a salary that made something inside him cry out with frustration. He figured that dealing with some slight offences from the spoiled heir of the clan wouldn’t be that hard if he just remembered that this way he could finally gain his independence fully from Nick and his organisation.

There was no question what his position would really equal, and he suspected it was more along the lines of babysitting and making sure the kid didn’t kill himself than protecting him from any threats. What he could gain from his research was that Anthony Edward Stark has been kidnapped exactly seven times in his young life, two times ate age five, just after his sixth birthday, two times during his seventh year and then consequently when he was eleven and fifteen. Baring the first three kidnappings, which were settled by paying the criminals, the boy had somehow managed to free himself, which left an unpleasant taste in Steve’s mouth for some reason. After that, the New York underground learned that young Stark was bad news and not worth the money they might or might not get, especially since the last kidnapping ended with the warehouse in which the kid was held being blown up and most of the kidnapping party dead or critically injured.

The kid was more resourceful than most adults his age and if what he heard was true, way smarter too. In the field of intelligence at least, because from what Steve glimpsed from Jarvis’ careful words was that while smart, Anthony just lacked any kind of common sense and got himself in the stupidest trouble. Steve’s role boiled down to protecting him from paparazzi, alcohol poisoning and exhausting himself to death, because apparently knowing when to eat and sleep were also the things that went over the kid’s head. As far as Steve was concerned, he could do all these things easily and if he got to punch some rich kid’s face in from time to time, it was just a perk of the position. Maybe he would even get to fight Maggia.

When he submitted all the paperwork to Nick for signing, the man almost laughed himself sick seeing the list of Steve’s responsibilities, thinking it was a practical joke of some sort. He really should have known better. What Steve needed was a signature on the referee section and then he would be out of Nick’s proverbial hair, for good hopefully. At this, the man grew more serious, questioning if that’s what Steve wanted, offering a position in the Agency once again. Steve was tired of working for a government that did nothing useful, and he refused once again. Nick was visibly unhappy but it would be a long time yet before he felt comfortable with expressing it to Steve’s face.

After what felt like hours standing and looking at the paintings around him, one of the side doors opened and Jarvis came out. It was good timing though, because if left to contemplate his situation for much longer, he probably would have turn tail, large salary or not. The elder man walked to where Steve was standing, his shoes miraculously silent on the polished marble floor. There was an uneasy air about the man, and Steve realized there must have been a reason why he wasn’t invited to see his new employers straight away. Without conscious thought he straightened his back, getting ready for whatever the other man was going to say.

“Mister and Mistress Stark await you, sir.” Jarvis said in a crisp British accent. He didn’t move though and so Steve didn’t either, waiting for whatever it was the elderly man felt he needed to tell him before the meeting. “Please do not judge the boy by his parents’ behaviour.” The butler finally settled on, softly enough that it wouldn’t carry, looking ashamed as he did. Steve nodded slowly and clapped the man on the arm companionably, starting to dread whatever he was going to see. Jarvis sent him a baleful and carefully disapproving look, but Steve didn’t really care much. The man looked like he needed some friendly human contact.

If he was going to be honest with himself, what Steve feared the most, was that he would once again lose the position he found himself in. It wasn’t an implausible fear either, considering his temper and stubbornness. Sometimes he could also be a little too self-righteous which combined with the previous characteristics didn’t exactly leave the nicest result. From what he’d glimpsed from rumours and what he could hear between the lines when Jarvis was presenting his responsibilities, the Stark family was full of problems and all the members behaved in a way that Steve would disapprove of on a good day. Only time would tell though, and there was no reason to worry just yet. Maybe just a little, but fear had never stopped Steven Rogers from doing something and this wouldn’t be his breaking point.

Both Starks were occupying the room he was led into, but from their posture and the way they acted it didn’t seem like they were awaiting anyone, much less a measly bodyguard they were hiring. Mrs. Stark was sprawled over a sofa to the right of the room, full glass in her hand and a bored expression on her face. Mr. Stark was talking on the phone by the window, holding, what a surprise, a glass of what was presumably alcohol. Steve could see where the kid got a love of liquor from. Starks were hardly paying attention to each other, and neither of them seemed to notice the entry of their butler and a guest. Steve could feel himself bristle, but he had a feeling that it was a normal attitude to be found in these walls and he would be better off getting used to it, so he just gritted his teeth and stood slightly behind Jarvis, waiting for acknowledgment.

When it became clear no one was going to pay any attention them, Jarvis cleared his throat politely, and two pairs of uninterested eyes turned on them. It was breath-taking how disdainful someone could appear without even saying a word, but at that moment both Starks looked like someone interrupted their anniversary party with pizza delivery. Steve could feel himself automatically fall into parade rest and at least Maria finally seemed a little more interested in his arrival.

“I take it this is Anthony’s new bodyguard, Jarvis?“ Maria asked and then continued without waiting for the answer. “Stuart Richards, wasn’t it? Is he from the army? He looks like he is.” And then to Steve’s utter bafflement and mortification she not only licked her lips in what he was sure was supposed to be a sensual fashion, but she also smiled flirtatiously and gave him a once over that made him want to run for the showers. Before Jarvis could answer her though, the master of the house spoke from his place by the window.

“He is, Maria.” To Steve’s utter puzzlement the man also gave him an interested once over. There was only so much he could take before he would not be able to stop himself from crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “I’ve heard a lot about you from my father, Captain.” Stark smirked and Steve could feel his heart stop in his chest. His real identity was supposed to be one of the best protected secrets at S.H.I.E.L.D, Stark wasn’t supposed to know it. “Don’t make that face, Captain.” Howard said and laughed, walking to the bar and pouring himself another drink. “I do all kinds of work for our friend, Nick. He doesn’t have secrets I don’t know about.” The urge to hit the man was strong, but Steve kept still.

“Mister Rogers is here to take the position of Master Anthony’s bodyguard.” Jarvis interjected, successfully diffusing the situation. To Steve’s great surprise, Howard laughed again, but this time it was more cruel than before.

“Good luck with the babysitting duty then, Captain.” Stark saluted him with a tumbler and pulled out his phone again. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” He added before leaving the room. Steve tried not to bristle at that. Not everyone could be Howard Stark Jr., great inventor who inherited all he had from his late father.

“A captain?” Maria purred, standing up gracefully and taking her own trip to the bar. “That must mean you’re good at what you do, doesn’t it?“ The woman’s eyes slid over Steve’s frame like water, making him shiver slightly. This was only furthering his theory that there was something deeply rotten in the family. No happy wife would try to flirt with another man with her husband in the same room, but it didn’t seem to bother anybody but him.

“Indeed, ma’am.” Steve answered and gave her a polite smile, hoping that the lack of interest would discourage her from the flirting. He was growing distinctly uncomfortable, the longer she looked at him, as if he was a prey she was eyeing for dinner.

“Maybe you could-“ She started with a smile full of sharp edges that almost made Steve take a step back. Before she could finish her sentence though, Jarvis cleared his throat once again and politely looked down at his watch, indicating the late hour. Maria sighed dramatically as if the world was doing her great disservice by not adhering to her wishes and sat back down on her sofa. “Where is Anthony then? There is no need for Stephan to just stand here and look pretty when he has work to get to.” It was clear she was pouting, but Jarvis’ shoulders visibly relaxed so Steve took it as a sign that they were out of the woods for now.

“Master Anthony is in his workshop, ma’am. He has ignored the invitations upstairs. I shall take Mister Rogers there at once.” The woman’s lips thinned, then she nodded and Jarvis led them out and then down, into the basement level of house.

The music playing from the speakers was deafening and apparently the butler thought so too, because the first thing he did was to slide a panel out of the wall and turning the volume down. Steve would have to ask about it later, but it was more than likely that he wouldn’t have the proper authorisation to use it. The kid was bent over a workbench, soldering something. At least he was wearing gloves and goggles, even if it was all the safety gear Steve could see. Unless the white wife-beater held some special energy field that Steve couldn’t see. Looking around the room didn’t tell him much though. It looked like just any other workshop, with the difference that the items on the work tables were much more sophisticated technologically than Steve had ever seen.

Just then a spark from the soldering iron fell onto Anthony’s bare arm, making him start and shout shortly. Before either he or Jarvis could intervene though, some kind of robot that looked like a metal arm on wheels hurried to the boy and sprayed him from head to toe in extinguishing foam. Steve winced while it was happening, not sure if he should interfere or not, but from the butler’s long suffering sigh he could guess that this was a common occurrence in the working space of Anthony Stark.

“Dummy, no! Bad robot!” Young Stark spluttered out, wiping the foam from his mouth and the rest of his face. The moment it was clear, the robot sprayed it again, making the boy swear in outrage. Steve couldn’t help the smile that broke out over his face, but he tried to valiantly hide it behind his hand. He wouldn’t want to make fun of his new employer on the first day of work. “I swear to God, I will strip you for parts and build a toaster! The fanciest of toasters!” Anthony yelled when his face was cleared again. “Ah, ah, ah!” He said; shielding his face with hands still covered in white foam. “Go to your charging station, now, I don’t require your assistance anymore.” That, to Steve’s utter surprise, was what finally made the robot wheel away.

With a sigh, Jarvis went to assist Young Stark in getting himself clean. Steve decided to just wait by the door in case more of the overprotective machinery was hiding somewhere in the corner, wary of newcomers. He was keeping the amateur fireman in his field of vision, carefully assessing the threat it could present. So far it seemed to be more than willing to help Anthony than harm anyone, but it was still a robot, and who knew what it considered a threat or help.

“Who’s that?” Stark asked and it took Steve few seconds to realize the kid was looking at him, his head tipped curiously to the side. It was a weirdly cute gesture, like that of a little chick examining the world. Then Anthony’s eyes narrowed and he hummed thoughtfully. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“I carried you on my shoulder for a rather long time, so I’d hope so.” Steve answered, crossing his arms, before he could remind himself that talking back to someone who was paying him was a bad idea.

“Mister Rogers brought you home last Saturday, Master Stark.” Jarvis answered for him, wiping the foam from behind the boy’s ears and making him whine and blush. “I have recommended the employment of Mister Rogers to your mother. Meet your new bodyguard, Anthony.” Those words finally made the boy stop fidgeting. He turned an accusing look at Steve, even though Steve couldn’t find anything wrong with what Jarvis said.

“I don’t need a bodyguard.” Was what finally come out of young Stark’s mouth, the glare he directed at Steve almost scorching. Steve couldn’t help but notice at that moment that despite looking mostly like his father with the lean built and dark hair, Anthony’s eyes were definitely his mother’s, dark and smoky. Someday, those eyes would break dozens of hearts.

Not that it was something Steve should be noticing about his young charge, or something he should be interested in at all. But then the boy’s look turned from accusing to the exact same his mother has given Steve upstairs and it was suddenly too hot in the room.

“He’s military, isn’t he, Jarvis?” Anthony asked of his butler, the tone a mile different from what it was just a moment ago. Steve wasn’t even aware young people these days could sound so silky and seductive, there should be a law against it somewhere. “I like military ones. They like following orders.”

Jarvis thinned his lips and Steve suddenly had an epiphany why the position as Antony’s bodyguard was so short-lived. It wasn’t because the work was too challenging or hard. It was because something else got hard and then they were fired. And with the way Anthony was looking at him right now, Steve realized that his work just got more interesting.

Shoulders squaring, he looked his challenge straight in the eyes, just like he always did. His reward was in the minute widening of Anthony’s eyes, before the boy smirked and cocked his hip on the work table, giving Steve the same interested once over both of his parents had. Steve would be damned if he lost his job, because he slept with a minor out of all things though. The future was sure looking interesting and Steve could only grit his teeth and try to get used to being hit on by every member of this deranged family.

~*~

Steve hated being proved right.

That is actually a lie, he loved being proved right and adored even more when he could rub it in people’s faces. He liked it especially well, when the issue was not a serious one, so he wouldn’t have to worry about the outcome anyway. This was not one of those cases. It was also one of those instances when Steve hoped to be proven wrong, just so his life would turn out to be easier.

No such luck. Anthony was an interesting person to be around in the way that he was wildly unpredictable in a very predictable way. Steve would never be able to guess for how long the young man would stay down in his workshop working without break, but he could bet on it being too long. In the first weeks he worked for the Starks, he didn’t have much occasion to do anything but observe his charge, as lost as Anthony was in some projects he was doing for the company.

At Jarvis’ insistence, Steve ended up moving into the mansion, but he kept his apartment just in case. He couldn’t tell what would happen in the future and it was better to be safe than sorry, especially since he could afford it now. He ended up turning Maria down twice and Howard once, and it seemed to stick with them then he wasn’t interested for real. Steve wondered if the previous bodyguards were all treated the same way or if it was just him. He was leaning more towards the former, taking into consideration the way Anthony flirted with him as if it was as natural for him as breathing. Steve kept just ignoring the remarks, but instead of gradually disappearing, they started something of a banter between them. Steve was still as uninterested in bedding a boy seven years younger than him, but he started flirtingback sometimes.

It was comfortable. Steve reminded Anthony to eat and shower and forcefully carried him to bed if he stayed up working for more than thirty six hours. It was nice knowing that he was contributing somehow, taking care of someone when they couldn’t, or weren’t willing to. The therapist he had for the first few weeks after waking up did tell him he should get a pet. Steve was pretty sure that working as Anthony’s babysitter counted.  
It wasn’t an easy job by any standards, taking care of someone as stubborn and determined to show everyone his worth as Anthony. Picking the man bodily up and hauling him upstairs for sleep earned him holes soldered into the soles of his shoes and Dummy wearing his favourite sweater for a week. Steve knew how to take a clue. Instead of fighting to get Anthony upstairs, he hauled one of the unused couches downstairs, so when the man got too tired to see the screen, he would naturally gravitate there and take a nap instead of getting another cup of coffee.

Food, in comparison, was not a problem. Anthony had to be reminded about meals and more often than not dragged up to the kitchen where he ate rather than in the dining room, but when presented with a plate full of delicious something Jarvis prepared that day, the grumbling stopped. Metal-working had to be one of those jobs that needed a huge caloric intake, because no matter what was put in front of him, Anthony almost always ate several servings. Similarly, if there was too much time between showers for the young heir and Steve was unsuccessful in cutting him off of work, Dummy would come in to help, spraying his creator with a garden hose until he got a clue. Steve was almost sure that the robot couldn’t smell the young man, so the action had to be saved in his code. This had to mean Anthony was taking care of himself in a roundabout way, which was surprisingly precious.

Not that Steve would admit to it, but sometimes, when Anthony was curled on the couch, hand curled under his stubbled cheek, Steve wanted to draw again. He didn’t, not since Bucky fell, but the way shadows played over the man’s cheeks and long lashes, was somehow hypnotizing and Steve’s fingers itched to immortalize the sight somehow.

The more time he spent alone with the other man, the more Steve started to understand the young man, at least a little. It was hard not to notice the way Tony’s skin painted golden if he spent more time outside, the sun seemed to love him so much that it lent him its colour in almost no time at all. Or the way Tony’s lashes fanned over his cheekbones when he looked down, smiling pleased at something. But the eyes were the worst, captivating and charming anyone who they looked at, Steve included.

Despite what he feared before accepting the job, life at the mansion was mostly calm and dull, with the occasional exception of a party or fund raiser. The magazines were constantly printing articles about Anthony’s wild partying, but from what Steve could see, it wasn’t even half as bad as they portrayed it. Besides, Anthony was a young man, it would be weird if he didn’t go out sometimes. Nevertheless, Steve was grateful for these first weeks when the young Stark didn’t, letting Steve get used to his new role.

And then everything changed. The big project Anthony was working on, some kind of nerve paralyzer, got finished and sent out to the R&D Labs, leaving the man with nothing but free time on his hands.

~*~

The first time Steve accompanied Anthony to a club was the worst experience of his new life, getting fired from the force included. The music was way too loud, and maybe it was his greater sensitivity, but he could have sworn he could feel the blood in his ears pulsing. It was hard to move inside, everyone pressed too close and the room overcrowded to the point of it having to be some kind of safety and fire hazard. The mix of human stench and the perfumes hanging in the air made him gag with every breath and the people pressing into him in hopes of getting lucky put him on edge. It was like being on the battlefield again, only instead of bullets everyone had drinks and drunks and anyone could be an enemy.

There was no question about Anthony having a good time. Steve was getting worried with how much time the young man was spending in his workshop over the last few weeks, but this wasn’t exactly what he meant when he hoped his charge would go out more. The alcohol was flowing freely and it seemed that if you hadn’t had a drink in your hand it was either because someone was holding it for you, like Steve was doing for Tony, or it was being currently prepared at the bar. Nightclubs were everything Steve hated about this new century shoved into one neat package and delivered to his door. But like with everything, Steve got used to it, too bright lights and too loud music included. He even started to enjoy it a little, especially when Anthony took the time out of his fun and sat with him outside, getting some fresh air and resting.

It was during one of their nights out, Anthony sliding between the people on the dance floor almost the moment they went through the door, that what Steve liked to label later as “The accident” happened. Steve was chatting amiably with the pretty bartender when he noticed Anthony’s bright shirt in the crowd, his eyes automatically seeking the rest of the figure. The man was being pulled against a bigger body, the guy who was trying to dance with him was being a little too forceful. It was clear from where Steve was sitting that Anthony wanted to get away as fast as possible, but it seemed both his dance partner and the people around went collectively dumb.

Before he could even say his excuses to his conversation partner, he was halfway across the dance floor without his brain registering him moving. It was an easy job of pulling Tony away from the bigger man and into him; the young man slumped against him slightly in relief. The aggressor looked for a minute as if he wanted to fight Steve, but the night was still young so he slunk away to look for another victim. Steve would like nothing more than to punch his face in and ensure that no one would be hurt that night, but he had his own responsibility to take care of at the moment. He hoped that anyone else the guy might spot would be with friends willing to save them too.

“Are you alright?” Steve said, leaning close and murmuring the words straight into Tony’s ear so he’d be heard. He could feel a nod and satisfied, he was going to pull away and go back to the bar when Tony linked his hands behind Steve’s back and pushed closer.

“Dance with me for a moment.” He murmured, using the same trick Steve had and it was only Steve’s enormous will power that kept him from shivering. Not waiting for his answer, Tony started to sway to the music, pressed so close that Steve could feel the man’s breath on his neck.

After a moment of indecision he settled his hands on Tony’s hips and let himself enjoy the moment. The closeness, the intimacy of dancing, it was something he missed the most from the time when he still had people to dance with and Tony using that against him, even unintentionally, was extremely unfair. It was probably because of it that lost in his own thoughts Steve didn’t see the kiss coming. They were just swaying together one moment and the next, a pair of soft lips was pressed against his.

Just a dry press of lips, but then Tony pushed closer and somehow his lips proved to have magical properties of getting Steve to lose his head. Tony’s mouth was pliant under his and the young man made a soft, barely audible sound in the back of his throat when the kiss turned deeper and hotter. It was only one kiss after which they both went outside and talked about many things but what happened. The slight awkwardness came with the realization that despite the continued flirting, Tony grew to like Steve enough that keeping him around was a better deal to getting into bed with him. It was a heady realization and in retrospect Steve could see that it was only the beginning of his fall.

~*~

“Did you just say school exhibition?” Steve said incredulous, not exactly believing what Tony just asked him. The other man rolled his eyes and leaned more on the counter, forcing Steve to move away with his sandwich making lest he knick Tony with a knife.

“I know you’re not deaf, so I’m starting to think you’re just getting old.” Tony answered and stole a piece of cucumber from the cutting board, popping it into his mouth. “It’s a technology fair of the University kind with all the cool stuff being shown here.” He stole another piece of the vegetable and tilted his head in that cute way he had. “Why are you so surprised?”

Steve could feel himself blushing, the temperature on his face rising. He focused on making his sandwich for a moment before finally admitting, “I didn’t know you were still in school. I thought you had all the diplomas you wanted already.” It prompted Tony to laugh, as Steve had been suspecting would be the case and he tried not to take it personally. It was a really silly assumption now that he was thinking about it.

“As- flattering as that is,” Tony said, wiping the tears of amusement from his face after few long minutes. “I’m still in college. Where did you think I was those few hours a day you’re free of me?” Steve just shrugged, but he was pretty sure Tony could tell it was something else embarrassing.

To be quite honest, he’d never really thought about it, just accepting the few hours he got to himself to catch up on his exercise and private stuff like calls and e-mails. There was a surprising amount of them from Nick, but after a third job offer, Steve stopped opening those. He thought that maybe it was a private time like that for Tony too, never realizing that it wasn’t the case.

“So, are you going to come?” Tony asked, breaking the silence between them and stealing the sandwich Steve just finished making. Steve pulled out another two slices of bread, starting anew. He looked up at Tony who was giving his food more attention than it certainly required.

“Sure, if you want.” He answered finally, answering the smile Tony directed at him.

“You won’t regret it, I promise, I’ll show you all the cool things and introduce you to all the cool people, it’ll be a blast,” Tony babbled along these lines for few minutes more, telling Steve what would be shown during the exposition and how it was going to work. Steve listened patiently, his chest a little tight with satisfaction over the fact that Tony wanted to spend his non-bodyguard time with him.

It turned out that Tony was right after all. When Steve arrived at the exhibition, the sheer amount of new technology that greeted him was enough to make his head spin. He entertained the idea of turning tail for just a few minutes, before finding the booth at which Tony was standing, Dummy loyally at his side. The tech the young genius was presenting was the holographic interface Tony was working on for the last few years according to Jarvis. It was an on-going project that the young man was focusing on when he didn’t have anything else to work on.

In Steve’s humble opinion, this was what the young man should focus all his energy on. The interface looked like magic come to life, all blue images swirling in the air, moving when prompted by Tony, enlarging and shrinking at his wish. Steve was positively sure that it would be a healthier area of expertise for anyone than war-mongering, but he learned to keep his opinions to himself when he knew they wouldn’t do any good. This was one of these times.

“It looks incredible.” Steve said, stopping at Tony’s booth and smiling when the younger man jumped, startled, and accidentally dropped the holographic paper ball he was holding. The girls that were watching him giggled and moved away to another booth, Tony pouted after them.

“Way to cockblock, Rogers.” Tony turned the pout at him and Steve tried to hastily tuck his smile away and appear contrite. “You’re not fooling anyone.” The pout changed into a smile and Steve dropped the act, coming closer and patting Dummy in hello.

“I’m sure you’ll survive.” Steve said, sliding his finger through the blue light and watching the file he started on follow the path with only two second lag. “And I meant that, this is almost magic.” He grinned at Tony, something unsettled in him stirring when the man just shrugged and turned the hologram off.

“It’s just a toy, nothing important.” Then he turned off the power and stroked Dummy’s strut before rounding the table and joining Steve. “Come on, I’ll show you other exhibits.”

Most of what they saw there wasn’t anything as impressive as Tony’s invention, but the young man had more words of praise for an automated egg boiler than for his own genius. Steve found out that Tony’s father urged him for days to present one of the miniaturized weapon projects as an advertisement of the company of sorts, but was rebuked by the school board who refused to have any weapons on the exhibition, even the ones rendered mostly harmless. The hologram was then a second choice, considered less, just because it couldn’t hurt anyone. Steve went quiet after that, watching passively what was presented to him and nodding sometimes to show Tony he was still listening to him.

It was just hard to get his head around it all. Steve fought in a war, in the biggest war the world had seen so far, he knew what having weapons better than your enemy could do. He saw Hydra soldiers annihilate whole divisions with their super charged guns. He understood the need for innovation in the field of weaponry. But there was no war in this new century he woke up in. Not one like before. Soldiers were sent into remote places to promote peace through force, and the rumours of them mindlessly hurting and killing innocent civilians were creeping into the country despite the great pressure to silence them.

And this brilliant young man at his side, who could have anything he wanted in the world if he only set his mind to it- He was trained from the youngest age to think that the only thing worth his time was creating more killing machines, bigger, more powerful, with better ability to kill. It broke Steve’s heart to see someone’s talent go to waste like that, to be turned into something ugly and twisted. But no matter what he thought and how much he sometimes missed the influence that came with the title, he was no longer Captain America. No one would listen to him, much less people like Howard Stark, who was the only man whose opinion Anthony would take into consideration regarding anything. Steve was just a bodyguard, with no past and no future.

The realization of it hit him right then, in the middle of technology exhibition. Steve remembered his psychologist saying that it would happen sooner or later, but he quietly hoped that if it had to happen, it could do in private, behind the closed door. Not in an atrium full of strange people.

“Are you okay? Steve?” Broke through the fog over his mind and he blinked at Tony holding his arm and peering at him worriedly. Steve must have been unresponsive for too long and with horror he realized his cheeks were wet with tears. There was no way he could just say he was okay now.

Even someone much less smart than the man before him would know it for a lie.

“I think I need to go back.” Steve said, his voice coming out scratchy and weird. Before he could remove his arm from Tony’s grip and turn away, the young man was nodding and pulling him along to the exit, keeping up a stream of concerned babble that Steve was suddenly too tired to answer. It was comforting though, hearing the voice of someone who might be worried about him sometimes.

The rest of the day was spent in Steve’s room at the mansion with cocoa that Jarvis graciously provided together with a fresh batch of sugar cookies. Tony didn’t leave, instead curling with Steve on the big bed and watching silly animated movies until they both were too tired to keep their eyes open. They didn’t speak about it again, and Steve was grateful for it, the way he was for the way Tony didn’t leave him alone with his thoughts.

~*~

The gala that the Starks had to attend next was being held in the city hall and everyone who mattered in the city was supposed to be there. The official reason for the party was a fundraiser for a charity against cancer, and unofficially it had been too much time before the elite of New York could schmooze together and try to one-up each other with what they had and what they’d done. It made Steve sick to his stomach that these were the people who decided the fate of his city. It was usually after he thought too much about the environment around the Starks that he had to go for an emergency work out and punch some poor bag until it broke. His huge salary was a blessing for it, because if you paid, no one in the old gym at Brooklyn was going to ask any questions. There were too many mutants running around to surprise anyone in the city anymore.

Obviously the city hall had its own security so it was a given that the evening of the gala would be Steve’s free one. Steve looked forward to it, as he didn’t have much time lately to just unwind and relax, with Tony fully back to school and party life style. It was surprisingly hard to keep the boy unharmed, as too many people wanted to use his youth and inexperience to use him in some way. And Tony would let them, if he didn’t have someone by his side to steer him in other direction. Steve could understand too well why both Maria and Jarvis wanted the young genius to have someone following him around at all times, even if the danger waiting for him wasn’t of a physical hurt kind.

So when Tony asked him to come anyway, it was with obvious reluctance that he agreed. It was clear that for some reason it was really important to the young man that he would go, but it didn’t mean that he regretted having to put his relaxing evening off. Again. Steve dusted off his tux with a sigh, thanking Andrew who told him once that every man needed one in their closet for emergencies and persuaded him into buying one. Slipping his shoes one, he wondered why Tony was so adamant that he come with the whole family. Maybe he would find out during the night.

The thought fled his head quite quickly when he finally got his glimpse of the family before they entered the limousine, Jarvis nodded at Steve to take the passenger seat. Both Maria and Howard looked gorgeous of course, they weren’t called “The most handsome couple in NY” for nothing, but it was Tony who literally stole Steve’s breath away. The tux the young man was wearing looked like a second skin to him, at the same time flattering his built and hiding any imperfections. His stubble was cut into an elaborate shape and his hair was shining in the light of the mansion. Tony looked brilliant and Steve wanted so badly to muss him up and bring him back to the soft, approachable look he had while in workshop it hurt.

In the little moments when Anthony was relaxed and bantering gently with Steve and his mute robots, it was easier for Steve to pretend and hope that the boy wasn’t going to end up like his father, no matter how badly the young genius wanted it. He looked approachable, like he was going to achieve everything and show the world that Starks weren’t made only of sharp edges and bullets. And then he emerged into one of the official parties, looking like a younger clone of his father and Steve felt like his heart was stopping.

The gala itself didn’t do much to lift Steve’s mood, full of pretentious people as it was. He ended up hanging a little distance away from the bar, keeping an eye on Tony. Tony, who was seemingly having the time of his life, dancing with every pretty little thing in the room and drinking too much champagne. Howard was busy talking with some other important men, probably getting them to sponsor a new line of weapons or discussing things that would go over Steve’s head. Maria busied herself with other high class wives, drinking and criticizing those who weren’t lucky enough to get invited.

The time seemed to slow down to a snail’s pace and Steve was halfway to going crazy around midnight when Tony appeared at his side out of nowhere and stumbled tipsily right into Steve’s chest.

“Oops.” The man said and then instead of stepping away he nuzzled closer, making Steve blush. “Hey there, this is a very nice set of pecs you have here.”

Steve wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be flattered or mortified so he stepped away a little, helping Tony keep his balance. It was clear that the man was well on his way to being drunk if not there already and Steve sighed before straightening up Tony’s clothes and hair to the man’s giggles.

“Cut down on that champagne, huh?” He said finally, popping closed the button on Tony’s jacket that came undone. “Stumbling is not attractive.” Tony pouted at him and went back on the dance floor with a shrug, without ever telling Steve why he came by at all.

But he didn’t drink any more, which probably made him the most sober person in the family by the end of the night. Steve was amused to notice that it also considerably helped him with picking up a girl, and before the night was over, Tony was well gone. Steve considered following, after all it was his job to do so, but decided against it. Everyone needed some time alone and if Tony was going to have sex it was hardly Steve’s place to stop him from it. There was a chance that if a girl was at the party, she wouldn’t want to hurt the young genius in any considerable way.

Going back with the tipsy Starks was a more awkward endeavour than Steve had thought it’d be. The moment all the doors closed and the car started, Jarvis informing Steve calmly that Tony went back to the mansion in a cab an hour ago, the noises started. It wasn’t like Steve didn’t know what married couples got up to sometimes. But he didn’t think this particular couple did. To hear them going at it, with two of their employees not even a foot away- Well, awkward only partially covered it. Jarvis muted the sounds coming from the passenger side of the car pretty quickly, but it didn’t change the fact that now they both knew what was happening there.

There wasn’t a moment in Steve’s life that he had run from anything, but the moment the car stopped, he was out of the garage like hellhounds were on his heels. It would be wise to go back to his room and forget anything out of the ordinary happened, and that’s exactly what he was planning to do. But then, just as he was climbing the stairs, his heart still beating too quickly, he heard Tony’s scream.

No time for analysing the situation, he was kicking down the door to Tony’s room and levelling his gun at the source of the scream in a minute flat. I took him approximately half of that time to realize his grave mistake and remember that Tony was supposed to be with someone. Steve started to apologize, pushing his gun back into its holster, his fingers suddenly feeling too big and clumsy, but it was too late to salvage the situation. The girl rolled out of the bed and was hurriedly putting on her clothes, apologizing right back to Steve.

At least Tony chose the only polite person at that party to sleep with, some distinct part of his panicking brain noticed and he didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh at the thought.

The girl left and Steve stood stupidly by the door that would require the intervention from a handyman. Tony was looking at him incredulously, his hair dishevelled and only a light sheet covering him from Steve’s gaze.

“I’m sorry?” Steve hazarded, but judging by the annoyed look Tony shot him, it didn’t have the intended effect.

“Are you kidding me? What even was that? And what the hell, how did you even break that door, they’re reinforced” Tony was visibly mad, only his modesty keeping him from getting up and gesticulate while he yelled at Steve. After a while it wasn’t enough anymore and the man went to pace around the room, lecturing Steve about privacy and appropriate reaction. While Steve was aware that he should have stopped to think before bursting in like that at the slightest scream, he was also starting to get angry right back at the younger man.

“I thought you were in danger.” He managed to get in between Tony’s speech when the man stopped for a breath, earning himself a glare. Steve glared right back and set his jaw, his voice coming out harder than he intended. “And while I am sorry for interrupting you like that, I am not sorry for coming here when I thought you were being hurt.” And just to see what the boy would do, he added “And you want to talk about privacy? Let’s talk about asking me out to some dumb party on one of my very few evenings out for no reason at all. What about privacy then, Anthony?”

They glared at each other for a moment before Tony spat out “You came anyway.”

“You asked me.” Steve shot right back, not realizing the implications of his words before they were out his mouth and the anger was sliding off of Tony’s face as if wiped with magic. Not wanting to see how the situation might have ended, with Tony standing naked and vulnerable, and as beautiful as always, Steve turned and straightened the door as much as he could without having any tools.

Tony cleared his throat and popped back down on the bed, not bothering with the sheet anymore.

“Are you going to stay here all night?” He asked, his hands distractedly moving up and down his chest. With the way Steve was placing the chair to have a strategically sound place to observe both the broken door and the bed it had to be already obvious, so he didn’t bother with the answer.

“I’m not going to care you’re here.”

Steve turned to the bed, confused by the statement, just in time to see Tony take his cock in hand and start stroking himself with a soft moan, while looking straight at Steve. He was almost sure that his face would be burning red if it wasn’t for the fact that all his blood had migrated south in a matter of seconds. He would not lose this job though, he promised that to himself. Tony was supposed to be on the same page as him on this, at least that’s what Steve thought was happening for the last months, but maybe another attack was inevitable after all.

Determined not to react in any way that would be satisfying to the damn tease, Steve sat down in his chair and crossed his arms, not taking his eyes off of Tony. That gave the younger man pause, and it was clear he expected Steve to get flustered and leave. He really should have known better by now. With a huff, Tony turned his back to the door and pulled the sheets over himself. From the way his breathing quickened and the small noises that sometimes escaped him, it was still clear to Steve that the genius really didn’t intend to let that accident take the orgasm away from him.

The final moan was a little louder than the others and it sounded surprised, as if ripped from Tony’s chest. Steve gritted his teeth and tried to focus on anything but the man on the bed. There was no lying to himself anymore though.

He wanted to be the one to pull those noises out of Tony Stark. And he was in trouble.

~*~

The call from Fury came unexpectedly one evening while Steve was reading a book sprawled over the couch in Tony’s workshop and observing the younger man subtly from over the edge. Steve didn’t remember giving Nick his new number and the man knowing it anyway unsettled him deeply. Tony looked up sharply from his work at the ring and watched Steve like a hawk as he took the phone out and went out of the workshop for the conversation. The corridors were filled with cameras and he knew that if Tony wanted, he could have easily found out what Steve was talking about, but the illusion of privacy still made his shoulders relax a little.

“You’re not reading my e-mails.” Nick started just as Steve said

“How do you have this number?”

“Do you really want to play that now?” Nick asked with a sigh and Steve tightened his lips in displeasure, but allowed the subject to drop. If he got offended at every invasion into his privacy S.H.I.E.L.D did, he wouldn’t be able to talk to Nick at all anymore.

“What do you want?” Steve said instead, leaning on the wall and mentally counting the minutes he was out of the workshop. The longer he’d be gone, the more antsy and curious Tony would become. And Steve wasn’t ready to explain things to him just yet.

“You’d know if you read my e-mails.” Nick grumbled before giving up the case, like Steve did a moment ago. “We need you to help rescue one of our agents.” At that, Steve straightened, because while he wasn’t willing to work for Nick’s agency, a person in danger was another matter. If Nick felt the need to contact Steve and get him on this mission then it only meant that the regular agents wouldn’t cut it. It simultaneously worried him and filled him with the exhilarating feeling he got before going out into the field. It had been a while since he had a chance to fight without holding back and quit pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

The agent that had gone missing was one of the special operations people, meaning he was already better trained than most. Someone who got the drop on her like that had to be either a mutant or somehow enhanced, like Steve was. There was little to no intel and Nick couldn’t even tell him if the agent he was going after was alive. And it still made Steve’s heart beat faster and his senses turn sharper. He went back into the workshop after a call into a slight daze that was only broke when Tony jumped in front of him.

“I didn’t know you even had a phone, why didn’t you tell? Can I have your number? Wait, of course I can, you’re my bodyguard, I’m supposed to have your number.” Tony babbled, fidgeting in place and making Steve nervous. So it was only logical at the time to bend down slightly and press his lips to Tony’s to silence him. He didn’t expect the calloused hands to settle on his neck and for Tony to so readily answer to the kiss, but he couldn’t complain.

The kiss went on for longer than Steve anticipated or even wanted, considering he shouldn’t be kissing Tony at all. It was hard to step back when every time he tried to, soft lips were luring him back in, the younger man not willing to let him go at all. Finally, they separated and Steve rested his forehead against Tony’s, a little out of breath.

“I’m leaving.” Steve said, and Tony jerked in his arms like burnt, tightening the hold he had on Steve’s neck.

“No, Steve, please, we can- I won’t do it again and I won’t flirt anymore, I promise, please-“ Tony was babbling panicked and realizing his mistake, Steve kissed him again, quieting the pained whimper the younger man made.

“Shh,” He started when they separated again, not letting Tony panic again. “Not forever, I’ll be back. I just need to help a friend.” Steve smiled and pressed the younger man closer. Tony went willingly, moulding himself to Steve and sighing softly.

“Oh.” They stood there in silence for a moment, Steve contemplating all the implications and future repercussions of what he just did here. It was broken by Tony with “So does that mean we’re going to kiss again? Because that was nice.”

What could Steve do but smile and kiss Tony again?

~*~

The mission was a disappointment. Dropped off in the middle of Carpathian Mountains, Steve spent three days going through the pine forest looking for any signs of either their missing agent or the person who took them. In the afternoon of the third day he finally found some signs of a fight and struggle: broken branches, the moss cleaned off from the stones on the ground as if someone slipped on it. He followed the track signed by it, careful not to make himself too visible in case someone was observing him.

A sigh escaped him when the track cut off at the stream bisecting the valley he was in. Before he could go back and see if maybe he missed something there was the cold muzzle of a gun pressed against the back of his neck. Steve froze, mind running over every move he made and when did he lose focus enough for someone to sneak up on him? He should have known the obvious signs of a struggle were leading him into a trap.

Or not, as it turned out. The moment he turned around the woman who was aiming at him cocked her head to the side and put the firearm back in the holster.

“Nice costume, whoever you are.” She said in perfect English, indicating the giant S.H.I.E.L.D logo on his chest with her head. Steve could feel the tips of his ears burning, cursing Nick’s insistence on the uniform, but he shrugged and kept his hands in the air.

“You gonna shoot me, lady? Or are we good?” He said, sounding more sure than he was feeling. She would have gotten out her gun faster than he would his if it came to that, and even though he had some accelerated healing, a bullet was a bullet and it ended in death.

“They didn’t exactly tell you who’re you looking for, huh? Typical Fury.” She said, a small smile ghosting around her lips. And that’s how Steve met the missing agent, Miss Natasha Romanoff.

It appeared that she was indeed attacked and abducted on an information gathering mission. A former accomplice, she explained, one that she wasn’t perfectly willing to take out as she wasn’t sure if he worked for anyone or was just hanging around the perimeter and attacking anyone who got too close. If it was the latter, she explained, then he could have been possibly persuaded to come to Fury with her, defect like she did. He would have been a great asset, she continued, stirring the beans in the can on the fire, enhanced with some kind of super soldier formula, like Steve was, plus the mechanical arm he had, which gave him automatic advantage in hand-to-hand combat.

When he expressed his doubt over how she got back to the forest from the town where she was supposed to be, she explained that after waking up in a holding room without any weapon or communication device, she decided to just grab the nearest weapon, retreat and wait for the extraction team that would inevitably come looking for her. Something of what he had thought had to have shown on his face, because she added in a quiet, scary tone that she didn’t want either hers or her former accomplice’s hands to become redder because of each other. Steve didn’t ask about it anymore.

It did mean however that they would have two days before the pick –up team would come for them, even though Fury was contacted and informed about the safety of his agent already. Nick didn’t want to fly so close to the Latverian border too often in case Doom would get a wrong idea. Steve couldn’t blame him for that. He surrendered most of his weapons to Agent Romanoff who just looked weirdly naked with almost all her holsters empty. He thought about getting some more rations from his pack, but he was already running low and it had to suffice for them both now, so he decided against it.

Instead, he lay down near the fire and turned on his phone, something Tony did to it before his departure ensured he got the reception even in the middle of the forest. It pinged at once with several unread messages and unanswered calls and Steve couldn’t help the smile that bloomed over his face even when Agent Romanoff shot him a knowing and lightly disapproving look.

I’m bored and you’re not here, Dummy is not good at talking and bouncing ideas off I should just invent someone to talk to me wow that sounds weird doesn’t it

I’m going to go on a limb and guess you can’t answer and that’s why you’re quiet why did you turn your phone off did you even tell me who is this friend I don’t think you did

Now that I think about it you haven’t told me anything that’s unfair I always tell you stuff

Almost always okay I know shut up

If you’re not safe and whole I’m going to fire you and then sue you for kissing a minor and then disappearing somewhere

Is your friend mafia is that why they fired you from police

Oops sore subject sorry

Steeeeeeeeeeeve call me back what is going on even my dad knows something that is so mean of you

Every message was read and then reread and Steve didn’t care about Agent Romanoff’s looks anymore. He was filled too much with the warmth that threatened to make his chest explode. Turning on his side, he dialled Tony’s number, waiting impatiently for the man to pick up. Steve couldn’t remember when he felt that happy, but he was almost positive it was weeks before he took a dive into the icy waters of Atlantic Ocean.

“Steve?” Came a breathy voice on the other side of the line and Steve grinned, some tension he didn’t notice he was carrying in his shoulders dissipating.

“Hi. Missed me?” It was probably only because he was so focused on Tony’s voice that he heard the catch in the younger man’s voice at all.

“Are you kidding me?” Tony laughed breathless and from the way his voice came out louder, pressed his phone closer to his face. “Didn’t you get all my crazy messages? Of course you did, you wouldn’t be calling otherwise, you big meanie.” Steve chuckled at that, wondering vaguely why Tony’s voice was so breathy, but decided to leave it for now.

“I would probably wait until I was closer to the city than I am now.” Steve admitted with a smile, not discouraged by the affronted huff from Tony’s side. “But I would. Because I missed you too.” There it was, the catch of breath again. “Are you okay, Tony?”

“’M fine.” Tony didn’t sound fine, he sounded strained and out of breath. And then he moaned softly, almost beyond Steve’s hearing and it became quite clear what the reason was.

“Are you-?” Steve said incredulously and then lowered his voice, even though he knew Agent Romanoff could hear him anyway. “Are you masturbating right now?”

Tony laughed, the breathy quality of his voice no longer worrying, but doing other, unwelcome right then things to Steve.

“Just, gimme a minute.” Tony said softly and didn’t let Steve answer before he stopped pretending to not be doing what he was doing. The call suddenly turned into something that Steve wasn’t sure he was prepared to face. Only thing he knew was that when over five minutes later Tony came with a groan, on a call with him, he was painfully hard and he was somehow involved in giving Tony that pleasure.

“I’m done.” Tony said, his voice silky, spilling the words out lazily.

“I could hear that.” Steve chuckled, trying not to let his state affect his voice. Tony giggled at that and sighed softly, content and happy, making Steve’s heart clench with longing. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Promise?” Was the mumbled reply before Tony’s breath evened out, the young genius slipping into sleep.

Putting his phone away and ignoring Romanoff’s judgmental looks, Steve tried to make sense of the trouble he’d gotten himself into. He fell for his employer’s son, the boy he was supposed to be protecting, and from the looks of it, Tony fell for him right back. It wasn’t a movie though, and Steve’s life wasn’t as simple and plain as he tried to show it to the uninvolved people. He had no idea what he was supposed to do, but anything involving any kind of risk of losing Tony was out of question. Steve had lost too many people already.

~*~

The return to the mansion wasn’t anything exciting or exuberant, there was no one in to greet him actually. Steve smiled to himself and enjoyed the peace and quiet while he could, unpacking his bag and settling back into his gigantic room that looked fit for him and his old unit, not for a solitary ex-soldier. Grabbing a sandwich and an apple from the kitchen, he had a moment to look around and see if there was any staff working at the moment, but it appeared they were all gone, which was strange. Steve didn’t worry too much about it though, because if something important was going on that would mean he shouldn’t come back directly to the mansion Tony would have told him during one of their phone conversations.

Eventually he stumbled upon a maid in his walking and after a little confused mumbling and a question posed in broken Spanish she told him that most people had a day off because of Master Stark’s birthday and the whole family was out on a gala celebrating the occasion. Steve must have grimaced before schooling his face back into calmness because the woman giggled and winked at him conspiratorially before walking away to do her job. Steve just wished he could chat with her some more, starved for human contact as he was. Agent Romanoff was an excellent professional, but she wasn’t the best company when it came to talking. Unfortunately, while knowing several different languages, Steve wasn’t really good at Spanish, preferring its close cousin Italian.

Retreating back to his bedroom after snatching a cup of coffee he laid down on the bed and pulled a list of movies that were available to watch in the huge Stark media library. He wouldn’t be able to stand the silence just yet, too mission tense to relax completely and slip right back into the comfortable quiet of the bodyguard work. On the mission quiet meant danger, meant someone was waiting for you, waiting to attack you. The plastic in his hand creaked with warning and Steve loosened his hold on it with a patient huff, choosing the movie finally and putting it on a louder volume than he would normally watch it on. He had to listen to people right now, listen to the clutter and movement, even if it wasn’t real. Before he noticed it, his eyes slipped shut, his exhausted body giving up finally to sleep in what it perceived as a safe space.

A giggle woke him up, closely followed by a hand on his chest. Steve had the intruder under him on the bed, pinned securely by the wrists and Steve’s legs around their waist before he was even fully awake and that’s why Tony’s face staring up at him with shock was almost as much of a surprise to him as the move was to the younger man.

“Are you nuts?” Steve said finally, releasing Tony’s wrist and running his hands through his hair.

“I don’t see why I would be, I’m exactly where I want to be.” Tony smirked at him from his position on the bed, raising one of his eyebrows up. Steve glowered at the arrogant man and flicked his ear, causing Tony to yelp and glare right back.

“Do you have any idea in how many ways you could die by startling me like that?” The growly tone of his voice should be a warning enough that it wasn’t a joking matter, but Tony just shrugged and grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I was hoping for, how do the French say it, petit mort.”

Suddenly all the tension and anger just fled out off of Steve, leaving him laughing at the corny joke and hiding his face in his hand. Tony grinned brighter and sensing his victory leant up and pulling Steve’s hands to the sides pressed their lips together in a kiss that was as brave as it was shy and sweet. Steve smiled and cupped the other man’s jaw, leaning deeper into the contact and pressing their mouths more firmly together. The younger man made a happy noise and leant back after a moment to get his breath back, beaming at Steve as if he was given a whole world.

“I didn’t think that you’d- You know, want this once you’re back here.” Tony said, nuzzling into Steve’s neck and not realizing how his words had just broken Steve’s heart completely. He put his arms around the slender man and hugged him tight, pressing kisses to the side of the smiling face.

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re so great; it was like you were made for me. It was a long time since I’ve wanted to be with someone this much.” And it was, both counting his years in ice and outside of it. He was awake for three years now so it was that for him, but in reality it was almost eighty years. Peggy was probably dead by now, even if she wasn’t when he first looked her up after opening his eyes in the twenty-first century. He was too scared now to search for her again.

Tony just clung to him tighter in response, giggling at all the kisses and trying to reciprocate in kind. Their lips finally met again and Steve made sure this kiss would be deep and hot, just to show Tony how much he wanted the other man. Tony moaned into his mouth and Steve swallowed the sound without even breaking for air, pushing his tongue into the younger man’s mouth and kissing him with all the skill and passion he possessed. It wasn’t much, but Tony didn’t seem to mind, his hands either clinging or moving all over Steve’s back constantly as if he couldn’t decide what he wanted to do with them. Not that Steve minded, it just made him hotter and before he could stop himself he was rocking his hips against Tony’s, the younger man thrusting up to meet his rhythm and gasping into their kiss.

It was more of a meeting of lips by now, more shared breath than anything sensual, both of them lost in the sensation of other’s touch and closeness to mind it at all. At the last moment Steve got enough sense of mind to unzip their trousers and grip their bare cocks, which prompted Tony to moan loud and obscene. Steve caught his breath at the sound and crashed his lips back into Tony’s, their teeth clashing together before they settled into a more sensual rhythm of a kiss. It didn’t take long for either of them to come and they sat spent, panting and smiling at each other like a pair of idiots.

There was come all over Steve’s hand and on Tony’s shirt, but it wasn’t really important at the moment. What was important was Tony looking at him as if he hung the stars and moon in the sky and just for that Steve bent down and kissed him again. Slow and lazy this time, taking his time to taste the younger man’s mouth and coax soft little moans out of him that were more out of pleasure than lust. He put their foreheads together and wiped his hand on the sheets, while Tony slid his hands into Steve’s hair and kisses his cheek and his jaw.

“I’m glad you’re back.” The younger man whispered softly, blushing bright red, but not looking away from Steve’s face.

“I’m glad I’m back too.” Steve smiled and leant in for another kiss.

~*~

The happy and warm atmosphere that was hanging between him and Tony at all times now was eventually broken by another call from Fury, this time one that was far less pleasant than the last one. Missions Steve could take, another funeral of someone he knew back in the day, not so much. Sometimes it felt like he was in a nightmare and despite the happiness bubbling in his chest there were days when it was covered by the black ooze of reality, the one that said that if it wasn’t for Tony and Nick there would be no one for Steve at all. Maybe the guys back at the station, but they had to have forgotten about him by now.

Arnie Brunnstein was a sergeant in the 107th division of the U.S. Army when Steve was working with them as Captain America, a good shooter and an even better ammunitions expert. Steve had his own little group that he worked closely with and the Howling Commandos would always keep a special place in his heart, but the rest of the division wasn’t strangers to him. They spent their leave together, bar crawling and sharing jokes in the dawn of the new day that was just one more day of fighting for them. Arnie was a bright kid. From what Steve understood he lost his leg in an explosion of a land mine sometime at the end of the war and had to go back to his sweetheart in a medical convoy.

The facts that Nick passed on to him showed that despite that Arnie had had a good life, filled with love and family. His sweetheart didn’t leave him. Opposite, she stayed with him in the hospital and then during physical therapy. They married five years after the war and a year later their first daughter was born. They had three of girls in all and one son. Arnie died peacefully, in his sleep. The doctors said his heart just stopped beating as if it was simply the time for him to go. The widow was devastated, but Nick said she kept strong. She said there came time for everyone and it apparently came for them now. She didn’t think she’d live long after her husband died.

Steve wondered about that. Time came for everyone, but him and it was one of the saddest things in his life right now. Not that he was dead, he wouldn’t wish for that. Everyone he knew at some point, the people he shared his life with, they were all gone or on their way to the other side by now. And it was going to be a very long time until he followed. At least that’s what he planned on, he thought while watching Tony work on something in the lab. The young genius looked up sensing the eyes on him and grinned happily before blowing Steve a kiss and going back to his work. No, Steve wasn’t moving anywhere just yet. Not unless he was very hard pressed to. Everyone would just have to wait.

The funeral was scheduled to be on Saturday and Steve made the arrangements to have the day off and be there, even though Howard Stark looked displeased at the fact that his employee had a life outside of the mansion. Steve wondered if it was just him or if everyone hired by the man was treated in the same way. He was going to that funeral though, with or without permission and it was clear from the beginning of their conversation so the man relented easily enough, his mood sour though. Not that Steve cared all that much.

The night before, when Steve was laying his suit out on the bed, making sure it was clean and well pressed, his phone rang, the number on the caller ID unknown. Tony was already bouncing on the bed with curiosity, asking a million questions about Arnie and how Steve knew him and the call just ignited that curiosity all over again. Steve pushed the younger man back with a laugh, watching fondly when he flailed and fell on the pillows with an oof. He sobered instantly after picking up the phone, Nancy Brunnstein’s voice echoing in his ear.

“Is this- Am I speaking with Captain Steve Rogers?” The voice was timid and quiet, elderly, but unmistakably female.

“Yes, ma’am. How can I help you?” Steve said, raising his hand to quiet Tony so he could hear the woman better.

“Good evening, Captain. I know it’s a really short notice, but- My name is Nancy. Nancy Brunnstein. Arnie spoke so well of you, Captain. I know it’s unexpected and I understand if you decline, but my husband would be honoured to have you speak on his- Tomorrow.” There was a sniffle on the other end of the line and Steve bit his lip, fidgeting. He hated when women cried, he’d never known what he was supposed to do.

“Ma’am, I’d be honoured.” Steve cleared his throat and waved his hand at Tony’s raised eyebrow. The younger man attempted to scoot closer on the bed so he could overhear both sides of the conversation so Steve got up and walked to the other side of the room. Tony pouted and flopped carelessly on the bed so Steve sent him a warning look. He wasn’t probably going to wear that suit if he was going to speak as someone who fought with Arnie, but there was no reason for the little brat to wrinkle it.

“Really? Oh. Thank you, Captain. Thank you so much.” The woman was openly crying now, even though she tried to muffle the sound somehow.

“You’re very welcome, Nancy. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright? You can go and rest now.” The woman laughed at that and it was a kind, warm laugh that made Steve smile softly in answer.

“Arnie was right about you, Captain. You are an odd one. Goodnight.” The line went silent and Steve turned the call off and put the phone back on his nightstand, rolling his eyes at the exaggerated wibble Tony was giving him.

“Cut that out. You don’t have to know everything about me, you know.” Steve sat on the bed carefully and leant down to kiss Tony’s bottom lip lightly. “I’ll tell you someday.” That seemed to finally brighten Tony’s mood and Steve wasn’t sure if the promise or the kiss were the culprit, but it was alright. As long as the younger man was smiling at him everything would be alright.

The dress uniform was a little dusty and it smelled like old clothes, but Steve didn’t have enough notice to take it to a dry cleaners’ so he dealt with it the best way he could – by taking very shallow breaths. At least it still looked good on him, even though there were much more ribbons pinned to his chest nowadays. He winced when he noticed a particular one and made a mental note to himself that he’d have to speak to Nick about taking that Purple Heart off his list. He hardly deserved it when he’s still alive and breathing.

At the funeral home Steve got several weird looks, probably because of his old fashioned uniform. After all, there was no way he served with the same guys that were gathered close to the open coffin right now. Only he had. Victor was the first to notice him and he smiled sadly before saluting sloppily and offering him a rolled up cigarette. Steve smiled back sadly, but declined the smoke politely. He didn’t want to get too much smoke on his uniform since it was already in a pretty bad state. The boys laughed and clapped him on the back and everyone’s eyes kept straying to Arnie’s peaceful face, smile firm on his pasty face. Steve noted with surprise that unlike most of the men surrounding him now, Arnie had a head full of dark hair, only occasionally streaked with grey. He must have had good genes.

Nancy stood to the side, accepting everyone’s condolences with a kind of stony face that Steve expected from undercover agents and spies. She was neither, but she was a mourning wife so she had at the same time an easier and harder role to play. After a moment of internal battle Steve went to her and kissed her knuckles, just the way his ma taught him back before she left him, and offered his sincere condolences. Arnie was a good, brave man. Steve hoped he died not only peaceful but happy. Nancy looked at him for a long moment and nodded with a shaky smile before saying that yes, as far as she knew Arnie couldn’t have been happier when he’d finally gone.

“Isn’t that’s what important?” Steve stared at the wrinkly face he remembered being young, grinning widely full of life. “He’ll be waiting for all of us with that grin of his on the other side. I always liked the hole between his two front teeth.” The grin came unbidden and although tinged with sadness prompted Nancy to smile back and nod once more at him.

“I used to tease him about it mercilessly.” She said and wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes. “Eventually he realized I did it, because I loved that one part of him just like every other one. He smiled more often after that, just to show it off.” Nancy laughed softly and wiped her eyes again with shaking hands. Steve, not knowing what to do, stepped closer and hugged her softly to him. The woman went willingly, hugging him back with surprising strength, but stepped away after a moment. “I’m glad Arnie had friends like you, Captain.” The smile was real this time, clear and fond. “He deserved to be friends with good people like no one else.” Steve nodded to this and with his throat clenched on a million unspoken words before he went to the coffin to speak his last goodbyes to the former friend.

When he was giving out his speech, the notes he made yesterday evening seemed stiff and weirdly unhelpful in front of him, he saw people giving him odd looks again. They probably wondered why he was the one speaking, and how did he know enough of Arnie to share these few anecdotes with him. When he got to the part about being in the same division, his rank, the whispers started up. Some people caught up on the truth and they’d begun sharing the ridiculous news with their neighbours and friends, disbelief clear in their voice. But the easy camaraderie he had with the old soldiers, his looks so hauntingly similar to the man’s in the old news reels, there was no questioning it really. Some people looked excited, others looked shocked. All of them had their phones out.

This was an eventuality that Steve didn’t consider, but he really hoped wouldn’t come. So much for that though. Maybe it wouldn’t reach Tony before he had a chance to talk with the younger man. There was a chance the young genius wouldn’t react in a volatile way, but knowing him it was more probably than not. By the end of his speech, Steve’s hands were shaking where he was keeping them hidden under the podium. Steve hated fame, he despised the whole mess it made out of someone’s life, the way it made people look at you differently and treat you either like something special or something infinitely worse than them.

After the funeral he moved his feet to the S.H.I.E.L.D. issued car that was waiting for him at the curb and slid next to Nick in the back.

“I don’t remember asking for a ride.” The door shut with a light bang and Nick just raised an eyebrow at him, the eye patch on his left eye moving with the expression.

“You’re welcome for the jamming of the mobile signal. You’re still very secret Captain America and we’ll make sure it stays that way, etcetera, etcetera.” The eyebrow was firmly up and Steve nodded slightly, grateful despite himself. The thing he feared most hadn’t happened and he discovered that he could breathe easier than before, the fear that was gripping his chest dissipated.

“Why are you here? It can’t be only be because of me.” Steve ran a hand through his hair and undid his tie. After a moment of hesitation he unpinned the purple heart from his jacket and passed it to Nick who put it into a box he took out from somewhere on his person.

“Arnie was a friend of dad’s, figured I might pay him a last visit.” At Steve’s incredulous look Nick grinned and leant back into the seat as if he couldn’t imagine being in a more comfortable place. “Fair enough, I suppose. I brought you something, wondered if you finally want it back.” He indicated a flat package propped against the door on his side and even through the leather Steve could see clearly what it was.

“No.” His voice came out more rough than he intended so he cleared his throat and tried again. “No. The world has no need for Captain America right now. Maybe it won’t again.” He tore his gaze away from his beloved shield, trying to ignore the pang of longing that throbbed with the rhythm of his heart.

“And a certain young genius has nothing to do with that decision, huh?” Nick looked at him expectantly and if he thought Steve would be surprised about the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. somehow knew about his complicated relationship with Tony he was going to be disappointed.

“No, he doesn’t.” Steve leaned back, mimicking Nick’s pose slightly. “Maybe he would if the decision wasn’t already made before I met him.” He turned his head to look at Nick and said honestly. “I can’t do it again, Nick. Not yet at least. Maybe I’ll never be ready to go back in the field with the shield strapped to my back.” The man looked at him close and searching and eventually nodded, not satisfied with the answer but rather resigned to it.

“You give me a call if you ever change your mind, alright?” Steve could only nod and close his eyes. When he opened them again the car stood in front of the mansion, the driver patiently waiting for him to get out. Nick was gone, but the shield was not. Steve looked at it like a drowning man looks at the boat closing on to save him, but eventually wrenched his gaze away and exited the car. The shield was left behind.

Tony was waiting for him on the bed with a big grin and some new finished project that he wanted to show Steve. Undeterred by Steve’s lousy mood or the fact he was wearing an old military uniform, he pulled the bigger man down into the lab, babbling about the way he finally managed to get the energy circuit to work like he wanted and maybe in a few years he would be able to build a flying suit of armour running entirely on repulsor technology and wouldn’t that be great, Steve? Steve just smiled and nodded in all the right places and when the other man was done, leaned close and kissed him slow and lazy before telling him how proud he was.

In the morning, the shield somehow found its way under his bed and if it wasn’t for Nick’s army of spies he would start suspecting that it grew legs and decided to follow him. What worried him was that he had become so accustomed to various noises of the mansion and feeling safe that he didn’t even stir when someone slipped into his room. He would have to take some precautions against that happening again, but it might be a double-edged sword when, not if, Tony stumbled upon one of those. Steve groaned and hid his face in his hands before deciding to think on it after having some coffee.

Only when he came back he didn’t have time to think on anything, because Tony was sitting on his bed again. This time however there was his shield, still with paint scraped in a few places from Hydra bullets, laid out next to him. The young genius had his hands stapled in front of his mouth and was looking at Steve cool and serious, in a way he hadn’t looked at him for weeks now. Steve walked further into the room and closed the door behind him, sitting on the other side of the shield, the coffee cup held loosely in his fingers between his knees.

“It’s not a replica.” Tony didn’t turn from the door, still staring at it intently as if it didn’t matter if Steve was standing there or not.

“No, it’s not.” The cool surface of the shield always felt comforting under Steve’s fingers, but this time it was just cold and unforgiving. It was separating him from the only warm thing he’d experienced in years.

“How did you get it?” Tony straightened out and was now openly glaring at Steve, his eyes steely and cold like the vibranium under Steve’s fingers.

“The last time I checked it was in the super secret storage in S.H.I.E.L.D. and no one was allowed to touch it, much less take it out.” He swiped his hand in the air, cutting off any questions Steve might have about that, getting up to his feet with a little jump “My dad works for them, I like to check their storages when I’m bored. It’s not the important part right now.”

“I’d say you illegally spying on an international organization like that is pretty important information in general.” Steve could feel his own shoulders draw back, making him seem bigger than he was.

“How did you get it?” Every word was hissed out from between Tony’s teeth, the younger man unconsciously puffing his chest forward and setting his feet apart in what was clearly intimidating pose. Pity it didn’t work on Steve. He wasn’t going to lie to Tony anymore, not when presented with a clean cut question like that. It wasn’t the ideal way in which he wanted to confess the truth to his young lover, but when cornered he wouldn’t try to run anymore.

“It’s mine. Fury just gave it back to me.”

The statement was met with an incredulous gaze, but then Tony’s genius brain started filing out possibilities and the way it could be true. His eyes changed from cold to calculating and this time a shiver went down Steve’s spine. He remembered being looked at like that, back in the basements of the SSR when the scientists were wondering how much the skinny thing like him was worth. Then they looked at him the same way after the experiment, measuring what he could do, how fast, how far, how strong. As if he wasn’t even a human to them, but an object.

“I thought the similarity in the looks was just some fucked up gene whirlpool. Maybe Captain America had an illegal kid somewhere or whatever.” Tony’s lips twisted in a mockery of a smile, all teeth and sharp edges. “And all this time I had the honour,” he spat the word out like a curse and Steve winced despite himself; “of being looked over by the real deal. Had fun pretending to be someone normal, Captain?” His rank has never sounded more like an insult, not even when Red Skull hissed it to him, back in that factory where Steve kneeled on a hard steel floor waiting for his adversary to kill him.

“Tony-“ Steve started and took a deep breath before continuing, but he was interrupted by the younger man. Tony was looking at him like he was something beneath the sole of the expensive Italian loafers Tony wore.

“No. You lied to me. You lied to me like no one has ever lied to me. All the friends, all the secret meetings and you’ve never told me a word of truth, not one.” Tony didn’t look cool anymore, he looked furious, but instead of flaming with it, he was seething, cold to the last moment, making the chill settle back in Steve’s bones with every word. “You pretended to be this harmless ex-policeman with hunched shoulders and shuffling feet and your fucking oh-shucks smile that would melt the hearts of grandmas.” Tony was standing now and he pointed his finger right into Steve’s face. “You’re a scam, Rogers. Everything about you is a lie.”

“Not everything.” Steve rasped, grasping Tony’s wrist in his fingers carefully, so painfully aware of the fragile bones in his grip. “Tony, please-“ The other man wasn’t listening, wrenching his hand away and storming out of the room, his steps echoing loudly in the hallway for several minutes. Or maybe Steve was imagining it, the corridor wasn’t that long after all, maybe he was just clinging to that sound because it felt so final.  
He should have told Tony earlier. Not from the start, but he definitely shouldn’t have let them get involved without telling the truth. They would talk tomorrow and straighten this out. Steve would let Tony’s anger calm down and then he would explain everything. They would be okay.

~*~

They weren’t. Steve tried to talk to Tony for days, but was met with stony silence and cold looks. The other man was back to treating him like every other employee, not speaking to him until it was absolutely necessary. When he saw that Steve was going to try to explain himself anyway, he put on earphones until the moment passed, Steve’s shoulders slumping in yet another defeat. It was even worse than at the beginning of their acquaintance since Tony didn’t even try to actively get him fired, he just didn’t care. Steve took to wearing extra layers or thick sweaters that didn’t help the shivers that came over him every now and again, the cold branching out from his bones to make his teeth chatter. The nightmares of falling, of ice and cold has come back and Steve didn’t have anyone who would care anymore. And then came Tony’s birthday.

The party was in a full swing by the time Tony deemed it time to appear, Steve trailing silently behind him. It was hard, watching someone who he once hoped could be his new dream be so aloof, ignoring him as if he was nothing more than air. Steve knew he made a mistake in not telling Tony the truth about himself before, but there wasn’t an easy way to say you were a hero who died in the 1940’s and now was miraculously alive again. No matter how he put it in his head, it still sounded like some ridiculous notion that hinted at him needing medical help.

It was too late to wonder about it anyway, the deed was done. Tony knew and hated Steve for keeping the truth from him. To be honest, Steve still wasn’t sure if the other man even believed in him being Captain America or if he was just mad about the whole secrecy thing. The fact stayed that Steve didn’t know how to fix their relationship, and it seemed more likely with every day that went by with Tony silent and cold that they wouldn’t be able to go back to friendship, much less something more. Steve would give anything just to have the younger man smile at him again.

All he could do though was observe from a distance and make sure Anthony Stark was safe. Which wasn’t an easy task, considering the young genius was determined to live his life to the fullest this one night. Both Maria and Howard were out of town and Jarvis was asked to take a night off, leaving Steve as the only supervision over the whole place. It was challenging enough to keep an eye on all the kids so they wouldn’t break something they couldn’t afford, to keep Tony in his line of vision at all the time was impossible. Steve still attempted to do it, but had to give it up for a bad job after two hours that were more exhausting than his last two years of life. And one of those years was at war.

It took him a moment then to connect what the white powder on the tables was. Steve stared in horror at some distant corner when presumably another young person in a line of people was snorting that powder and suddenly it was too much. Tony being distant, all the drunken teenagers doing their damndest to leave the mansion in ruins. And now this too. Steve walked out of the ballroom, barely holding on to the remnants of his temper, the anger and disappointment swirling in him like a storm brewing.

Some part of him was murmuring that he should have known better than to expect anything different. That Tony’s seemingly better behaviour was just a big elaborate lie to seduce him, just like every other bodyguard before him. That this was what Tony was really like, a wildly partying playboy, well on his way to getting addicted to both alcohol and drugs. Maybe he was wrong all along, maybe the haze over Tony’s eyes that first evening wasn’t because someone slipped a pill into his drink. Maybe it was all Tony’s choice all along and Steve was lying to himself when pretending there was something more under that cover of a rich, spoiled boy.

It couldn’t be that though, Steve refused to give in and believe that. He knew Tony. Knew the young genius better than anyone in that room. Tony wasn’t like that. He played along with the game, showed his public smile to the cameras and behaved the way the press expected him to when pushed into the limelight. But in private, when he could relax and there was no one to observe and judge him, he was different. He was soft and smart and vulnerable and sweet. Steve wouldn’t have fallen in love with him otherwise, he would have known better.

Only because he stopped to calm his breathing did he hear the muffled noises of a struggle in one of the rooms near the ballroom. From what Steve remembered about the plan of the building it was one of the unused offices, one of the many in the building. Considering what was happening at the party it was almost a given it was just a pair of teenagers playing around. Steve should just go on his way and maybe try to find Tony before he got himself in trouble.

“Stop-“ Came muffled from behind the closed door though and Steve would recognize that voice anywhere.

His lesson learned from the last time he went to Tony’s rescue, Steve shouldered the door open instead of kicking it in and looked around the room before pulling his gun on anyone. What sight greeted him was Tony bent over the desk with his pants pushed down to his knees, tears in his eyes and his hands twisted behind him. What was also behind him was Tiberius Stane, with whom Steve was acquainted already from that first evening. And the same as on that first evening, Steve wasn’t getting impressed with Mr Stane’s attitude.

“You have three seconds to step away from Mr. Stark before I remove you myself.” Steve said, his voice hard and quiet.

“Go and pretend you’re useful somewhere else.” Stane said with an eye-roll, but what caught Steve’s attention more was Tony’s quiet and pained

“Steve.”

It didn’t even take him a minute to pry Stane off Tony and pin him to the floor in the most painful way he could come up with. After securing the man’s wrist with a piece of string, Steve hauled him up and after making sure the door to the office was securely locked, escorted him right to the exit where he shoved the entitled little shit face first into the ground.

The way back took him less than a thought, his feet jumping over three steps at once in his haste to make sure Tony was safe and well. He found the man sitting on the desk he was previously bent over, his pants back on, hands shaking while trying to light a cigarette. Steve walked slowly to Tony’s side and took the cig away from him, pulling the man against him.

Tony went willingly, for the first time in two weeks showing Steve anything else but indifference. Steve would have preferred to not ever be spoken to if Tony could have not have experienced what he just had. But he couldn’t turn back time so he just held the crying man close and hoped that his presence alone could make the situation slightly better. It was a long time before either of them moved from that office. There wasn’t a force strong enough, not even the danger of leaving a room full of drunken and high teenagers unattended, that would have pried Steve away from Tony in that moment.

~*~

Tony was avoiding him. It could have been only Steve’s imagination, him being too sensitive, if it wasn’t for the way Tony kept changing directions he was walking in every time he caught side of Steve. Once in a corridor, he did a 180 degree turn and went into the broom closet just to duck out from possible confrontation. About what, Steve wasn’t sure, they had enough things between them that they weren’t speaking about that if Tony wanted to add his birthday party to the list it wouldn’t be a big deal. Well, of course Steve wanted to discuss what happened, but he wasn’t going to force Tony into it if that’s what this whole avoidance was about.

The summons to Howard’s office came just when Steve was going to corner Tony into some kind of explanation in the workshop and there was no time when he wanted to curse more. He could already see the young Stark through the glass door, eyes widening when he realized there was no second exit when Jarvis asked him to arrive in the older Stark’s office at once. He saw Tony’s face go pale and then pained in a span of few seconds, but he didn’t have time to find out what was that about.

Although, few hours later, he could easily guess.

“Mr. Rogers, please do come in.” Howard said the moment the door opened and Steve could feel some heavy weight settling in his stomach. Jarvis nodded to him briefly, his face closed off and Steve knew that there was something wrong.

“You asked for me, Mr. Stark?” Steve came further into the office, closing the door behind himself and trying to relax his shoulders.

“It has come to my attention that you have treated poorly one of our guests during Tony’s birthday party. And to top it off, it was a son of my very close friend. From what I have been informed of, it happened when-“ Howard was saying and Steve was tensing with every next word, a veil of rage settling over him

“He was-“ He tried to interrupt, but Howard was continuing as if he didn’t hear.

“-him and Tony were fooling around in the office, some innocent fun between friends, -“

“No, he was-“ Steve tried again, but Howard seemed to gone deaf

“-which Tony confirmed.” That shut Steve up. How could Tony confirm anything of it when it was plain lie? “I know you’ve been having unprofessional feelings towards my son, but I was turning a blind eye to it. Till now, this is just crossing the line, Mr. Rogers.”

“What?” Was all Steve could manage at the moment, the shock and incredulity of the situation pushing him into a state of numb disbelief.

“I’m afraid we must say goodbye to each other.” Howard finished and pushed a piece of paper across the desk, not even looking at Steve. It was a termination of his work agreement and suddenly Steve felt sick. He put so many hopes, so much of himself into fitting in after waking up, he finally thought that maybe he’d found his place at the Stark mansion and now this was happening. Maybe he was just destined to fuck things up for himself everywhere, just by being a decent person.

“Yes, sir.” Steve said, keeping his voice calm, when in reality he wanted to scream and punch things and just do something. He signed the paper with a hand that wasn’t shaking and gave Howard a curt nod before exiting the office. That was it, another chapter of his life finished. Another pointless heartbreak that was going to haunt him for months.

Steve went to his room slowly, not looking forward to having to pack again. He hadn’t seen his apartment in Brooklyn in months. The sight of Tony waiting for him at the door didn’t lift his spirits at all, only made the hole growing inside of him ache with betrayal. Steve passed Tony without a word and went into his bedroom, going straight for his closet and looking in the pile of laundry for his duffel bag. He would probably have to borrow a trash bag or something similar from Jarvis for all the things he bought while living in the mansion. There was no way they could fit into his one duffel.

“Steve-“ Tony said, standing in the doorway and fidgeting in place. Despite not wanting to even look at the man anymore, Steve turned to him and for the first time in weeks, realized how stupid he was really for entrusting his heart to someone like that. Tony looked young, like the kid he really was. What else was Steve expecting to happen between them than this? He might have known Tony quite well, but what did it matter when Tony didn’t want to be that person Steve saw in him. “Steve-“ Tony repeated, but stopped again, at a loss of words.

“I’m sure you have more important things to do than say goodbye to an ex-employee, Mr. Stark.” Steve said finally, after long minutes of silence, wanting to save them both from the awkward situation. Tony cringed but nodded and left without another word and Steve could feel something inside him breaking.

It sounded cliché, but he was pretty sure it was his heart. He wondered how many times he would be able to glue it back together before it fell apart for good.

Turned out, he didn’t have to worry. All his things fit in the bag he already had, and Jarvis was nice enough to call a cab to take him to Brooklyn, so it would wait when he was done with packing. Surprisingly, Maria was waiting at the door, a whole bottle of wine in her hand.

“I’m sorry.” She said, not looking at him. “Thank you for protecting him and I’m sorry he’s stupid enough to not do it himself.” Then she turned and went into the morning room both Starks had welcomed him in.

It became clear that both she and Howard knew what likely had happened. Steve didn’t know if it made the situation better or worse. He shouldered his duffle with a sigh and accepted a hug from Jarvis, before leaving Stark Mansion for good.

He was sure the brief meeting at his door was all he would ever see of Tony Stark.

~*~

It was hard to get back into his pre-Stark routine. Steve didn’t need to find work as desperately as before, having saved most of his wages from the last months, but it would become a pressing concern sooner rather than later so finding a job was his top priority. Well, right after mustering enough motivation to get out of bed for anything more than a bathroom trip. The job at Stark Mansion has successfully isolated him from most of friends he has made during his job in the police force, and he would feel like a tool trying to instate himself back into their circles now.

There was nothing and no one tethering him to the new century and Steve found that most of the days the thought overwhelmed him to the point of stealing the breath from his chest. He was intimately familiar with the feeling of his lungs constricting, not being able to take in enough air even though they should be working properly. The only difference was that he knew it from asthma attacks, and he was almost sure the attacks now had more to do with PTSD and depression than anything physically wrong with his lungs. It was impossible after all, with his body at human perfection.

It was a pity that no amount of serum in his veins could take him back to the twentieth century where he belonged.

Steve finally ended at the point of entertaining the idea of accepting Nick’s job proposition, but the carefully worded e-mail with an inquiry about it garnered him a response with the phone number to the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s psychologist and he decided to take it as an offence. He didn’t need more therapy, he needed a job to keep him busy and take his thoughts off everything. For someone who was so adamant about getting Steve back into things before, Nick was suspiciously silent on that front now when Steve was ready to accept the costume.

There were words banging around in his head, the ones Tony yelled during their last fight. That his life was a lie, that his whole existence in this century was a scam. The realization that it was true hurt, but Steve thought that maybe if he could get over the fact that nothing he knew fit into this new world, he would finally be able to find some peace. Maybe he could finally build a life that wouldn’t fall apart like a house of cards. But to do that, he would have to get up and go out and he wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

The knock on his door, when it came, was unexpected enough that Steve thought he was hearing the neighbour receiving guests. It wouldn’t be the first time he was woken up by the sound. But then it repeated and it became clear that it came from his door, and whoever it was on the other side wasn’t going to go away if ignored. Sighing and pulling on a shirt that was laying closest to him, Steve got up and trotted to see who was bothering him.

When he saw Tony looking hopefully at him standing on the doormat, his first reaction was to close the door in the man’s face, but he managed to squash it almost immediately. From the desperate way Tony said his name in that moment, he must have read the intentions on Steve’s face clearly enough. Maybe it would be better this way, maybe if he got some of that closure his therapist used to talk about, he would finally be able to move on.

“Come in.” He said, going back inside the apartment, leaving the door open in an invitation. He gathered some dirty clothes lying around and moved them to a barely used chair and opened a window to get some fresh air in. Tony was just standing where Steve has found it for a long moment before finally coming in and locking the door behind himself.

“Steve-” Tony started and stopped again. Steve was getting tired of hearing his own name and that was not normal. “Steve-“

“I know my own name, Mr. Stark. I’m sure you haven’t come here to remind me of it.” Steve interrupted Tony impatiently, squeezing the shirt in his hands tight enough to tear it. It took only one blink and there were hands covering his, untangling the stretched material from his fingers. Instead, Tony curled his own calloused fingers with his and moved in close, putting his forehead to Steve’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” He said, voice scratchy and quiet. “I screwed up, but the last thing I wanted was to lose you.”

“What else did you think would happen?” Steve answered angrily, not moving though. The weight of Tony against him was too comforting. It was exactly what he missed the most, the soft comfort of a loved’s one touch. “What did you think would happen?” He repeated, softer, voice breaking.

“I-“ Tony started and pressed closer to Steve, hiding his face in a broad shoulder. His voice came out muffled this way, but it didn’t stop Steve from understanding his words. “I screwed up so much. Please, I’m so sorry.” Tony’s shoulders were shaking minutely, almost invisible and Steve was gone again.

“You stupid, dumb kid.” He said, pulling the man tight against him and holding on for dear life. How could he even pretend that he wouldn’t forgive his idiot if he only asked for it?

“I’m sorry.” Tony kept repeating over and over again, breath catching on sobs that started to shake his frame. Knowing full well that he would join the crying soon if nothing was done, Steve cupped Tony’s face in his and kissed him hard and deep, the way he’d wanted to ever since that call in the Carpathian Mountains.

Tony responded readily, opening under him without prompting and kissing Steve back with a desperation that was heady. Steve brushed his thumb under Tony’s ear, making him shiver lightly and pulled a soft noise out of the man’s throat when he bit on his bottom lip. Leaning back to catch his breath, Steve looked at Tony’s flushed face, the plump limps kissed red and open to catch as much air as possible. Heart clenching, Steve kissed the man again, this time softer and he didn’t know which one of them made the slightly pained noise that he heard after a second.

Stopping kissing Tony was probably the hardest thing he had to do in the last week and it was only because they both were getting a little too heated that he found enough strength of will. They still stayed curled into each other, standing stupidly in the middle of the room, for more time than Steve would admit was healthy. His stomach finally voiced its displeasure at being ignored for too long and Tony huffed out a quiet laugh against his neck hearing the sound.

It was the most beautiful sound Steve had ever heard. The laughter, not the stomach grumbling.

They ended up curled together on his ratty couch, eating Chinese take-out from the restaurant two blocks away. Tony was trying to teach him how to use chopsticks and Steve was pretending he just couldn’t get it. Until finally Tony caught on to his game and petered him with pieces of mushrooms from his Lo Mein. After a while, when his whole couch was covered in sticky sauce, it evolved into another make-out session.  
Tony slipped a piece of chicken behind Steve’s shirt when he wasn’t paying attention, successfully ending the make outs. Things were finally looking up.

~*~

The wall before him was half-covered in a mint paint and there was an open can standing near the ladder that would let him reach the high corners in the apartment. It was beautiful, the living area was at the corner of the building and an entire two walls were covered in floor to ceiling windows. There was no need for artificial light during the day at all, but Tony had little neon bulbs installed in the ceiling for when he dimmed the windows for the night. Just the fact that he could do that sent Steve’s mind spiralling, the way the glass became opaque at the simple voice command made him pause and stare every evening. Tony kept laughing at him for that, but Steve’s pretty sure he’s excused in being awed with that level of technology. And despite what the younger man tries to persuade him of, Steve’s pretty sure not many people have it in their homes.

Right then, Steve was sitting on the floor of the living room, all the furniture taken out to temporary storage while he painted the two remaining walls in a soft green Tony chose on their trip to the hardware store. He managed to not splatter the floor too much, but his work clothes and face were covered in tiny bits of paint. At least the ceiling was as immaculately white as it was when Steve started. He was planning on painting a scene on one of the walls, once he put the main layer down, but he wasn’t sure yet what he was going to do. Tony kept pestering him to do a portrait of him as Captain America, but that wasn’t something Steve wanted to have to look at every day for as long as it took Tony to change his mind about the colour.

Eyeing the red and gold shades of oils he bought he got an idea, so he stood up with a grin and stretched, his joints popping back into their right places. Getting back to work, Steve started whistling happily and a minute later a melody to accompany the sound started out from the miniature speakers installed in the corners.

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Steve smiled and saluted to where he knew the nearest camera was. Logically he knew JARVIS wasn’t a person watching from the other side, but it seemed more polite to do it this way than to just address the whole room in general.

“You’re welcome, Master Rogers.” The voice was eerily similar to the man’s on whom the program was based.

The little flat in Brooklyn was sold three months after Steve and Tony got back together and although it still stung a little that he couldn’t contribute even half of what was paid for the new one, he didn’t mind it enough to protest it seriously. This way, he could live with his young lover peacefully, away from the eyes of Tony’s parents and anyone who would wish them ill. It gave them enough time alone, the time that they had to spend together until Tony’s lab was done building on the floor beneath them, so they had to talk.

The resentment over Steve’s lie wasn’t long-lived once Tony started listening and Steve couldn’t apologize enough back in those first days for how betrayed he made the younger man feel. But they got over it and started rebuilding their relationship, more stable, more honest this time.  
Steve didn’t take up the mantle of Captain America again. Nick jokingly said that he missed his chance when Steve was moping after his break-up, but it was clear he didn’t really mind it all that much. They met up for beers once a week to discuss what was going on in politics and on the supernatural scene. Nick finally reluctantly admitted that although having his own team of super heroes would be great, and get some annoying people off his back, it wasn’t really needed. The super villain threat wasn’t serious enough yet to merit creating another team. The X-Men were handling everything for now just fine. Maybe one day.

It was clear that one day Nick would come knocking to Steve’s door again, but they both understood that if they day came that the people would need Captain America for real, Steve would take up the shield again. As long as he could choose his own costume of course. He saw the sketches of the proposed model and it was decidedly too tight and too little battle-ready looking. No, Nick, he didn’t care what it was made of, no one was going to take him seriously if he looked like a circus performer. At least his old uniform was clearly combat ready. When Steve showed the projects to Tony, the younger man almost laughed himself sick. And then he took them down to his lab and announced he could do way better. Steve trusted that he could.

For now, a position at the local High School was enough for him. He didn’t earn much, none of the teachers did, but it was a good job. The students taking his Art classes were mostly bored teenagers that wanted to be out of the school as soon as possible and didn’t take art seriously enough for Steve tastes. He made sure they knew what he thought about slacking and when they realized he wasn’t kidding, they really couldn’t take the period as a mostly-free one, they started to produce work that he could say he was proud of. At least most of them. But he knew now that he couldn’t reach out and interest everyone in paints and different kinds of paper. He tried way back with Bucky, babbling at him about his passion until his throat went raw. His friend was more interested in letting him talk then listening though. It was okay though, everyone had different passions.

The sound of the front door closing shook Steve out of his thoughts and he realized he’d started on the sketch of the flying suit already, the mint paint still too wet. He sighed and put the pencil down, mentally berating himself for being too eager and turned to Tony, opening his arms wide.  
“What do you think?” The room looked like a disaster still and it would for another few days at least, but Tony grinned and tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with happiness.

“It’s perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> **Art:**


End file.
